Tuesday, January 15, 2013
... but I'm going to use that as fuel.
I got on the scale this morning.
I know. You don't all have to jump on me. I know weight fluctuates, etc. I just figured, seeing as I've been knocking it out of the park with fitness these past 4 days, as well as been so good on my nutrition side for over a week now (with one day's exception), I thought I might see some progress.....
Well, not so much. Actually no progress.
Now to fight off that voice in my head that keeps saying
"See. I told you so. You will work your butt off. You will watch every bite you put in your mouth. And it won't be enough. The weight is going to haunt you FOREVER!!!"
I know better than to let this voice back into my head. It's why I'm back at almost 240lbs again. Every time I'd gain 5, and start to get back on track I'd go a week, see no progress and give up.
Not this time. I won't let that happen.
Lulu is getting stronger, more active, and finally starting to loose weight. She's so excited to see me get my running clothes on. She practically jumps on me so I don't forget to take her with. And she's following very well now. No more pulling on the leash.
We both deserve better than having me give up.
I wish I could say I feel great and that's why I'll keep going. I'm still in the transition stage. I know I'm slowly getting stronger. I know I'm doing things right. But I don't have the
"I can run 6miles without stopping" or "I can finally fit that top that looks so much better when it doesn't pull too tight" or "I'm almost back into my tiny little jeans" or even "I feel so much better than I have in a long time"
This list can go on and on. I just don't have any of it yet.
I REFUSE to give up this time. I KNOW I'm on the right path. It may need some tweaking, but I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bath water.
I'm trying to turn my thoughts from "give up" to "use this as fuel"
Fuel to keep moving. To know that although I'm not seeing progress yet, I will. Maybe I need to step everything up a bit. Maybe push a little harder in my workouts will do it. It's only 4 more days until my next weigh in - I do it on Saturdays. I can sleep in, relax, give myself time to fully wake up and make sure I'm ready, then get on the scale. No rush.
I have 4 days left to do what I need to do to get that scale to give me a number under 234.8.
Talk about obsessed. It's times like this I worry. Maybe I'm too worried about what the scale will tell me.
It might be time to re-evaluate my fitness plans. Maybe get into some lifting as well. Start to guage based on how much stronger I'm getting.
Anything to free me from that scale.