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    -THINQ-   56,939
50,000-59,999 SparkPoints

i'm gonna re~MOJOtivate my self!!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Yep, it's me! Hopefully i won't t.m.i. y'all, LOL !

my story:

I grew up in a pretty disfunkchunul home; there was stuff that caused me to develop ptsd, & later in life when depression hit me too, i became disabled permanently. I work as much as i'm able, 'cause i just am NOT the happy person i can be when i'm not contributing in a work-like way to others.

I started out with a couple of problems that i inherited, but by age 25 or so i was in real trouble; anorexic/bulimic, i had tried Overeaters only to be told that they felt i was there to gawk at them, not get help myself. I began drinking only after i had already entered into a dangerous lifestyle, and had lost all hope of having a happy life. After i accidentally walked into a 12step meeting, i got sober and two years later realized i needed more help. At about age 30, i reluctantly tried medicine for the first time, and finally began to thrive.

I married a wonderful guy who was just not a good match for me, and we divorced; at the same time i moved away from my homestate area & with my job, but it also changed drastically, and i began to live alone for the first time as a healthy sober person. I was still thin, but i didn't eat healthfully; i was still exercise-anorexic or would simply stop eating for a few days or a week when my slacks got tight.

My job turned into my "dream job", and i met my DH who i fell madly in love with. We were simply two souls who finally had found each other! Mutual friends hadn't intro'd us before then, 'cause they thought i wouldn't like a heavy girl, but frankly i've always felt more comfortable around people who were not shaped like i was; i guess my outside belied my inside.

Unfortunately my DH got sick, and when i tried to take care of her full time & work 60hrs a week too, & then my dad passed away, my own condition reared up and overtook me. I spent time in a hospital but couldn't recover enough to return to work and was politely terminated. Thank goodness, i'd enrolled in disability insurance (which at the time i was Certain! i'd Never! need), and it got us thru some tight spots financially.

When i started spending time at home with my DH & taking multiple doses of medicine every day, i started to stop starving myself but still kept eating like i was runnin' my butt off all day every day. So the inevitable happened; it began to be harder & harder to get up on my horse, or walk the dogs, or climb stairs, & one day i woke up from worrying about my DH's wt and health problems, and found myself out of breath, out of energy, and out of all the nice clothes i had in my closet!

We tried WW, aquaerobics, walking, gyms, diets, and i went from 190 to 220, to 250. The day i saw 265 on the scale, i decided enough Had to be enough. Finally got some sense and i joined TOPS. DH refused to join with me at first, but she started becoming more active. When she saw how i was struggling & i also demanded that she take an active interest in getting well herself & not just continuing to give up, she finally agreed to join TOPS and we started working together. When i found Spark, i had already dropped about 15 lbs, but i was still yo-yo-ing and struggling. Then she joined Spark too, and even the BLC for one round! She's actually better than i am at being consistent, but she's just not a gabby person, and i am; (plus, i type faster!! lol).

My first couple of rounds of the blc, i lost a LOT; but last year i had to have spinal surgery & have struggled to get back to that first level of Happy&Excited! participation since having to spend that 3 months practically glued to a chair holding my head still so my bones would grow together.
I'm hoping that all of my Sparkbuddies! who already! focus on having Fun, Support, & HealthyHabits (is that FuSHH, d'ya think? emoticon lol) can help me re-MOJOtivate! myself! emoticon

*Whaddayasay, Lizzie?*
emoticon eat healthy! emoticon
emoticon be happy! emoticon
emoticon help others! emoticon

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
HARMONIUM 1/19/2013 12:50PM

    You should be so very proud. I am impressed. I did not know all of these aspects of you and your life. You can HAZ the courage and the capability to do anything you want to. emoticon emoticon

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KRZYKAT3 1/16/2013 9:52PM


So happy you have overcome your issues and are wokrking on supporting you and spouse in a healthy life!

And deinifitely like Re MOJOtivate!! emoticon

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VONBLACKBIRD 1/16/2013 12:54PM


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PATRICIAAK 1/15/2013 7:00PM

    take it a day at a time stepping towards your goals.

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2HAMSDIET 1/15/2013 5:55AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Oh Lizzie....remojotivate yourself?!* You are AMAZING and you inspire and amaze and motivate US! So glad you are here with us. Thank you for sharing your story. You are so very courageous! Proud to be on Azure with you!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LRSILVER 1/15/2013 4:51AM

    Keep moving in the right direction and you will do it!

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TWEETYKC00 1/15/2013 4:45AM

    You are going strong and should be proud! This isn't an easy journey, but it's worth it and I am glad you are here!

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DUBLINROSE 1/15/2013 2:52AM

    I love your have a great attitude. Best of luck reaching your goals.

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