Monday, January 14, 2013
Day 12 Binge-Free
I believe in the power of prayer. Thank you to all those who have prayed for me the last week. I feel your love and prayers. Today was the first day in a long, long, long time that I felt like just "Netty".
Last night, I went to an LDS 12-step meeting and was so overwhelmed by evil feelings and just broke down and said so at the meeting and expressed how LOW I felt and how ready I was for these feelings to leave my body.
The missionary in charge of the meeting spoke to me as I was walking out and said he would give me a priesthood blessing. I have been to many of these meetings and never been asked this before, nor have I ever seen anyone else solicited for a prayer.
Well... he gave me a blessing. I felt calm afterwards and was able to come home and get 6 HOURS of sleep.... Most in the last 2 weeks since stopping bingeing (I sleep great when I am bingeing weird).
I woke up this morning with a little anxiety, worried about going to work today but ready to go.
I was just fine at work. Felt at peace, not overwhelmed at all. Had a slow, quiet lunch break. Enjoyed my food. Talked to people about my bulimia without even crying. I felt okay and ready to deal with it.
I came home and talked to family and friends still without crying. I feel pretty good. Nothing exceptionally exciting, but I feel like I am just living and just being Netty again. IT feels great. There is so much hope in me. I feel people's strength and their belief in me. They truly believe in me, my soul, my spirit, not my physical strength... MY inner Netty that is a a sweet, kind, beautiful person.
THANK YOU for Being YOU and Loving ME.