Monday, January 14, 2013
It's a new year and I'm still obese. There. I said it. That dreaded word that everyone always tries to avoid. Overweight, chubby chunky, even fat, seems less serious than that obese. Such a clinical term, it always reminds me of doctors and diseases. But i am obese. I have been for many years. I've told myself i was going to change and lose weight. And I've succeeded a few times. Some times 5 pounds, sometimes 25 but I would always give up and gain it all back, Slowly i would claw my way to a smaller size, only to gain it all back over the course of a few weeks. I always seem to stop at the same weight: 207 pounds. Not a good number for a woman of my height,
So here I am again, trying to all over again. I know what to do to be successful. I know about portion sizes and nutrition. I know how to workout. I know I can do it because I have done it before. I also know that I've failed before. Many times. I could be discouraged by this. Instead I see it like I have a lot of practice. I have the tools I need to do it. I can look at why I failed in the past and learn from those experiences. Here some things that I recognize as my past problem areas:
1) Lying to myself: trying to justify things to myself like "I can't really workout today" or "A little bit won't hurt" are good examples. I need to be accountable for everything I do.
2) I'm emotional eater. I eat when I'm bored, sad or happy. I need to recognize when I'm actually hungry and when I'm just trying to shove my feeling down with food.
3) I'm a sugar addict. I find it really hard to eat just a little bit. I have to avoid sugar, especially early in the day.
4) I tend to not eat much all day then eat all evening. In the past when I made an effort to eat earlier, I still ate the same amount in the evening, resulting in a constant calorie struggle. I need to break my evening snacking habit once and for all. I'm going to do this by staying busy,
5) I focus too much on results. I need to stop basing my success solely on the scale. I seem to be a slow loser and that's okay but it does make it difficult for me to stay focused and motivated. More recently, I've been more concerned about my health. This gives me a new focus to my efforts. Even if I don't see any movement on the scale, I can still feel good about the healthy things I am doing for my body,
I'm not sure if this will be the last time I try to lose weight, I hope it is. But if it isn't, I hope I never stop trying. My health too important not to.