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    RAVEN2FEATHERS   46,727
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Brand new restart for me !


Monday, January 14, 2013

Did my workout this morning and feeling great ! I finally got my rides worked out so that I can make it to anywhere I need to go, during the daylight hours, and I couldn't be happier ! I have no bus service where I live so I had to make other arrangements and now that I've been approved for rides which pick me up at my door and take me where I want to go and bring me back home to my door !! It's cheap too and that I am truly thankful for !

So now things are beginning to take shape, including me !

I'm really happy that I've got these things planned out and set up because I went back to old habbits and did a really bad turn for myself I am at 347 lbs !! Now I was down to 279 lbs last Oct !!! And I got so happy about it I started doing what I always did, eat to celebrate, then I had a bunch of family issues to deal with and bang more food and more and more and more went into me by my own hand. Very self destructive. But I did myself a favor, a small one but a very important one, I kept a diary of those days and I have learned so much from those pages. In fact what I've seen in those pages I can honestly say I will never see in myself again.

And I choose not to continue to wallow in the fear that it will never come off or that more will come back on or my self doubt staying around or sorrow about being in the 340's again which would be very easy to do, no work necessary to do this but I refuse to be lazy about my life any longer !

Nope, now is the time to gather my thoughts, get my Sparking set up which I've done, get my food intake under control today which I've done and will continue on doing, and I've contacted my trainer at the gym I belong to and set things up with her, also I've set a pair of jeans up on my bdrm wall that I look forward to fitting into again, I'm back up 2 sizes and can't wear anything in my whole clothing collection except my sweats ! But that's okay, for now.

That's all I need for now anyway around here and at the gym so I'm set ! For those of you who do not know I am retired now and don't work so the only places I go to is the gym and to the occasional dr appt and I don't "need" to dress up for those though I usually had and I will again.

See I can't let life get in the way of my health any longer. For me to do that I would only have a horrible life to look forward to and who looks forward to misery ? Not me ! emoticon No, I am looking forward to my little granddaughter's 3rd birthday party with my being down in the 320's by then and I will be, healthfully.

I don't want my granddaughter to ever tell me again, Neenee you have a big big big tummy ! When she said this to me the other day it made me cry and of course she didn't see me doing this, but it also got me to really think about the choices I was making and what those choices are telling her ! I don't want her to think it's okay to be obese ! And that's up to me !

Hugs,
Alison
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MANLEYSANDY 1/15/2013 11:14AM

    I know you can do it!

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DORIS39 1/14/2013 9:55PM

    HI ALISON,

THEY SAY CONFESSION IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL. AND WE ALL DO IT HERE IN SPARKS.
YOU SOUND LIKE YOU HAVE YOUR HEAD TOGETHER. GOOD LUCK.

MOST OF US HAVE BEEN DOWN THAT ROAD MANY TIMES , SO UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AUNTC321 1/14/2013 9:04PM

    Thank you so much for sharing. We really can do this. The support we give to each other in the process is priceless. Best wishes.

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RDGISME 1/14/2013 8:21PM

    What an amazingly inspiring blog!! I , too, have gained some pounds back and am 'recreating' my weight loss wheel. You have given me some real points to ponder...journaling is a must for me again, but I've truly been avoiding it. Today, as a matter of fact, was like a day 1 for me. I portioned, weighed, measured and am happy with what I have eaten. I had planned on an apple as tonight's desert..not hungry for it! Thank you, again for being brutally honest with yourself which has lead many of us to be real with ourselves!

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IDLETYME 1/14/2013 7:18PM

    That's a wonderful blog Allison. You should be so pleased that you have figured out your problem and how to fix it. Having affordable transportation wherever you need to go is great. Keeping a diary is great. You can look back and see what you did right and what was wrong so you can fix it .Your little granddaughter will be as proud of you as we are. emoticon Hugs, Nancy

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 1/14/2013 6:39PM

    i'm so proud of you!! its easy to slip and fall, get depressed, and just stay there. Not you, my friend!! You recognize whats up and you are changing it!!! Good job!! You can do this...we can do it together!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
hugs
Holly

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KATHIE_B 1/14/2013 6:33PM

    Good for you for setting yourself up for success. You sound like you have the right motivation and have forgiven yourself for the slide. Very smart to have kept the diary. Hope you are keeping one now to document your success. emoticon

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YATMAMA 1/14/2013 5:20PM

    Hurray for YOU!! I slumped into a terrible pattern, myself, and have now purposed in my heart to RE-lose what I RE-gained and then get back to actually losing weight. For me, the act of using my trackers is the linchpin. Without that accountability, I'm sunk, just SUNK. I can't trust me. lol Tell me, what kinds of things did you put in your diary that helped so much? I continue to try to journal and I do very well if it's biblical things I've pondered, but I've never been one to pour the rest of me onto paper and I'd love to be able to do it. Did you do it as though you were speaking to a friend, to God, to yourself? Did you ask yourself questions and answer them? I can't wait to hear how you did this because the fruit of it is showing! You've done a very good thing. Keep up the good work!!

Missy

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