Did my workout this morning and feeling great ! I finally got my rides worked out so that I can make it to anywhere I need to go, during the daylight hours, and I couldn't be happier ! I have no bus service where I live so I had to make other arrangements and now that I've been approved for rides which pick me up at my door and take me where I want to go and bring me back home to my door !! It's cheap too and that I am truly thankful for !

So now things are beginning to take shape, including me !

I'm really happy that I've got these things planned out and set up because I went back to old habbits and did a really bad turn for myself I am at 347 lbs !! Now I was down to 279 lbs last Oct !!! And I got so happy about it I started doing what I always did, eat to celebrate, then I had a bunch of family issues to deal with and bang more food and more and more and more went into me by my own hand. Very self destructive. But I did myself a favor, a small one but a very important one, I kept a diary of those days and I have learned so much from those pages. In fact what I've seen in those pages I can honestly say I will never see in myself again.

And I choose not to continue to wallow in the fear that it will never come off or that more will come back on or my self doubt staying around or sorrow about being in the 340's again which would be very easy to do, no work necessary to do this but I refuse to be lazy about my life any longer !

Nope, now is the time to gather my thoughts, get my Sparking set up which I've done, get my food intake under control today which I've done and will continue on doing, and I've contacted my trainer at the gym I belong to and set things up with her, also I've set a pair of jeans up on my bdrm wall that I look forward to fitting into again, I'm back up 2 sizes and can't wear anything in my whole clothing collection except my sweats ! But that's okay, for now.

That's all I need for now anyway around here and at the gym so I'm set ! For those of you who do not know I am retired now and don't work so the only places I go to is the gym and to the occasional dr appt and I don't "need" to dress up for those though I usually had and I will again.

See I can't let life get in the way of my health any longer. For me to do that I would only have a horrible life to look forward to and who looks forward to misery ? Not me ! No, I am looking forward to my little granddaughter's 3rd birthday party with my being down in the 320's by then and I will be, healthfully.

I don't want my granddaughter to ever tell me again, Neenee you have a big big big tummy ! When she said this to me the other day it made me cry and of course she didn't see me doing this, but it also got me to really think about the choices I was making and what those choices are telling her ! I don't want her to think it's okay to be obese ! And that's up to me !

Hugs,
Alison