My Dog Came Home Yesterday with a Prize - A Head

Monday, January 14, 2013

I bet THAT title got your attention! Let me start by assuring you it wasn't human, or this story would have a whole different bent.

This past weekend my husband got up on Saturday morning and was really sick. He fully succumbed to the cold he'd been trying to fight and, well, looked and felt like crap. So I tucked him in bed, fired up the Vicks humidifier, started making a pot of homemade chicken soup, and was determined to get him over the worst of it before Monday morning.

In his many trips to the bathroom for nose blowing, he wandered over to the big window that overlooks our upper pasture and ... well, perhaps I should just tell the story as he recounted it to me.

Out in the upper pasture he saw the tip of Dudley's tail headed WAY OUT towards the fence. Curious as to what could make our dog, who sleeps 98% of the day, actually wander that far from the safety of the front porch (remember, the dog is afraid to leave the porch at night because a deer snorted at him once) Joe just watched the tail tip. Dudley headed out about 100 yards and stopped. There the tail tip bobbed up and down for about 3-4 minutes before he saw it start heading in a straight path back to the house. Then it veered off around the garden and up the pathway to the driveway where doggus appeared with something large in his mouth as he headed up the front walkway.

My husband has a sick sense of humor. He knew what Dudley had - so he opened the door just so he could watch what would happen next.

In came my dog with his greatest prize and I heard a "clunk" in the living room followed by warning growls to the cats. (Mind you, the cats had no interest in this other than the same as Joe, and sat there to watch what would happen next.)

"Grrrrrrrrrr - woof woof woof - grrrrrrrrrrrr"
(translation - back off you cats - Mom lookie here - I mean it cats....)

"Dudley? What's Up? What is that? OH MY GOD??! WHAT IS THAT????"
(translation - dog? what now? I'm confused. Holy schneikies - I'm going to be sick)

I did not see my stupidly grinning husband in the doorway to the bedroom.

"Dudley - get away from that! Move! Ewww! Oh god - you found a HEAD? Give it to me! Dudley! Dudley!!! Come back here with that head - give it to me - now! - - let go! LET...GO!!!"

As I'm trying to not touch a decomposing head (which thankfully was mostly skull) and pry my dogs jaws open so he'll drop it, I suddenly hear laughter from the bedroom. Joe was having a great time watching as I finally got the head/skull away.

I looked up and nearly clobbered him with a deer skull.

So I figured since he was feeling good enough to set me up, he must be feeling good enough to take it from there, which he did. He took Dudley's most bestest prize ever, and threw it away.

Now Dudley was completely confused here because every time Joe came home with a deer, there was much rejoicing. And here he brings one home (granted in pieces) and all I do is get grossed out and throw it away.

After the grossness of the situation wore off, because it was really just a bone (mostly), then I really wanted to find the rest of the deer so I wasn't having it show up daily for the next month. So off I went tromping through the upper pasture with my husband, the great hunter, going the wrong way. I simply followed Dudley's footie prints in the snow and lo and behold - we found a frozen skeleton of a deer (headless of course).

And that is when I decided I wanted to know more about how it died (I have clearly watched too much CSI tv) but we couldn't find any evidence of anything other than she died there and was discovered by my dog.

Now - I try to include every weird situation I get into and calculate fitness minutes to go along. So I have:

Dog wrestling: 3 minutes
Pasture hiking: 7 minutes
Deer disposal: 0 minutes - Joe got that one.

So it is 6:30 am on Monday and I have gotten my husband successfully off to work and it is still dark outside so I thought I had a few moments to sit here and recount this.

Dudley just went out the dog door and hasn't come back yet.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This blog is a riot emoticon emoticon
    1709 days ago
    My favorite story is when we had some storm damage and the insurance adjustor was checking over our house and I looked down and saw him just about to step on a large, bloated (and yes dead) rat that our dog had apparently just dropped off as a gift for me!

    1714 days ago
    What a funny story! The things they bring home is unbelievable! "But Mommy I carried it all the way home why do you wanter it?" LOL!
    1714 days ago
    cats are no better nothing better then going out the back porch and just missing stepping on a mole or dead bird . course that is much better then the live baby black snake my cat brought me one time emoticon
    1714 days ago
    I am laughing so hard! Guess it isn't such a big deal now that my dog finds baby bunnies now and again, runs home with them much to my dismay and then she pouts when DH takes away her treasure!

    * please note that I'm almost positive she only finds ones that have already died for one reason or another. I doubt she could actually catch a healthy bunny.

    1715 days ago
    Love love love your posts and what fun it is living the good life in the should get used to the bone situation before too long..still much I was like you when younger and we got our first place in the "sticks" only things that bother me anymore are the snakes and mice that tend to want to come in the house.. emoticon
    1715 days ago
    emoticon Aren't dogs wonderful!?!?! emoticon

    1715 days ago
    OMG!! That is so funny! I know it wasn't at the time. My dogs have brought me all kinds of treasures and it's not fun at the time (especially the not quite dead treasures)!

    I would calculate in a few extra calories burned just for the stress factor!!!
    1715 days ago
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