Monday, January 14, 2013
This may be graphic, contain semi-adult language, and for sure TMI.
I had Mirena IUD between babies one and two. I take a long time for my cycle to regulate, so I never actually got "regular" before I got pregnant with baby two. I'm breastfeeding, so I'm not "regular" now and my cycles are all out of whack.
But, seriously? This has been the worst. This one? The worst period I can EVER remember. My husband joked, "You are a walking stereotype!" I was all, "Get me some hot tea, a hot water bottle, some advil, a box of chocolates, some potato chips and go shut the *bleep* up!" (So, pretty much, a walking stereotype!) I can't get on the scale (emotionally!), but, based on how my clothing fits, I'm guessing I gained around 7-10 lbs, literally overnight. I'm SO bloated... and have been for 2 days now. Today is day 3 of massive massive bloat.
And why the hell does menstration screw with my digestion? Heart burn? 2 day Constipation? followed by sticky poo? Every single time! Even when I don't go on chocolate benders. Which i did this time. But, that's neither here nor there. I'll deal with that.
And my emotions? Raging Biotch! I know it. And knowing it makes it worse. Because then I feel guilty on top of it. There is a small rational voice in my head that keeps telling me, "You're over reacting!" But, it isn't loud enough to stop me yelling or crying or laughing maniacally.
And why? Why? Why? Chocolate? I don't understand. I don't even LIKE chocolate all that much. It's nice a few times a year... and only when it's good. But right now? Chocolate chips! Reeses! Hershey's kisses! (Really, Self? you don't like Hershey's kisses even now, but you are still stuffing them in your face!)
And the pain. The pain. The pain. I have had cramps for 3 days. My hubby, in another of his "lets try to lighten the mood" moments put my hot water bottle on his belly and said, "I'm trying to figure out what it feels like to be you." And I'm like, "THE *BLEEPING* HOT WATER BOTTLE IS THE AID, NOT THE PAIN!" So, that's been fun too.
And the blood. So much of it.
It's like being a teenager. For me... that second or third time I got my period was the worst. The first time was pretty mild, but then there was a day that second or third time, where I just bawled and bawled and bawled it hurt so bad and I was scared by how bloody it all was. Burned in my memory... Yeah... this time, is right up there. Except now, I've got two kids who need me to make lunches, get them to school, nurse them, clothe them, do the dishes, the laundry, everything... and lying in bed with a hot water bottle and crying is pretty low on my list of options.
Can it just be over now? Please?