Monday, January 14, 2013
Things have been up and down. I felt like I was getting more energy and then I crashed for a few days. I am not sure if it was due to changing the type of light I was using in light therapy too frequently, my TOM or something else, but I pushed through it.
I've been sticking to my goal of exercising 6 days a week for 30-60 minutes, even when I don't feel like it. I do cardio every workout and also a strength workout 4 days a week, the intensity changes but on average it's moderate. I've had a total change of lifestyle - from remodeling house(s) all day to being sedentary after the move, so I think it's important to get in activity each day. I find it helps my mental state to workout too.
I am still unsure if this energy drain I've been going through is totally seasonal. I don't think it is, since my dad died 3 months ago, I've given up my own home that was my project for almost 3 years, I've relocated to a new place and am facing some major career decisions that I've been putting off for a couple of years now. I also feel like my life lacks focus. Sometimes I don't know if the depression is contributing to the lack of focus or vice versa. Either way I'm attempting to break out of it by making some new goals for my life.
I started out with my new goals oddly enough, by the old saying that you should write your own obituary. There is also a principle from the book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", that says to begin with the end in mind. So, that's what I am doing, and it has been helping. What do you want from your life? And then how will you get there?
I also need some goals for my workouts, aside from the 6 day a week goal. That is fine, but sometimes I feel like, "What I am working out for?" Sure, a vague sense of, "I will feel better" is OK, but I am most motivated by training for something. It's easier to go out and run in the cold if there is a distinct schedule with an end result, rather than some idea in my head of "I need a workout to include in my six days for this week." I don't think I have the energy for full marathon training, so I'm not sure what that will be right now.
Perhaps I should just not push things for now, do the best I can, rest, and let things come back in their own time.