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The Help Line


Sunday, January 13, 2013

This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialog of a former Word perfect Customer Support employee:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GERMANIRISHGIRL 1/15/2013 1:32PM

    emoticon

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JANIEWWJD 1/15/2013 5:04AM

    Wow, I would imagine he did lose his job!!!! LOL!!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DR1939 1/14/2013 7:35PM

    Very old. Missed the line about the coffee holder aka disc drive.

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LESLIELENORE 1/14/2013 7:08PM

    emoticon

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HENABELLE 1/14/2013 5:43PM

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 1/14/2013 3:42PM

    Thanks for the chuckle...

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MIRFA71 1/14/2013 2:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GAYLE-G-63 1/14/2013 10:13AM

    emoticon

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GINA180847 1/14/2013 9:20AM

    This is an oldie but goodie!

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TINY67 1/14/2013 9:14AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SEAWILLOW 1/14/2013 8:09AM

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THROOPER62 1/14/2013 5:19AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CELEST 1/14/2013 4:25AM

    All Tech support have incredible stories to tell. My hubby was a tech support for Olivetti and he had a woman complain that her space bar spaced without her touching it. When he got there it was her massive breasts doing the job. LOL

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SHERYLDS 1/14/2013 3:11AM

    ah yes....tech support......oh the memories.
Been there , done that.
In the dark ages, before you could remotely log into someone else's computer
You needed to verbally step them thru doing things
when they had almost no understanding of computers.
I still get nightmares.

These days... If I need to call tech support...I pray I get someone I can understand on the other end.

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DESERTDREAMERS 1/14/2013 12:43AM

    He-he-heh!

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GLITTER60 1/13/2013 10:46PM

    LOL so funny, but i can relate. i am not a computer nerd.

dh helpful. emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 1/13/2013 10:39PM

    Very realistic for many of us.

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ANHELIC 1/13/2013 9:59PM

    I'm not quite that bad, but getting pretty close. emoticon

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MERRYMARY42 1/13/2013 9:49PM

    I fall real close to her, but gosh I do like my computer.

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