There I was, all 264 pounds of me, laying on the gym floor (where everyone could see), crying my eyes out and saying "I can't." I was embarrassed to be so FAT, so SLOBBISH, and I did NOT feel worthy of anything. The Old Ladies (what I called them at the time. I know better now..lol) were flying threw the workout and I was a HOT MESS. It was that very moment....MY BIGGEST LOSER MOMENT, that gave me the fuel to move on. As I lay there crying my eyes out, my Coach, Lindsey, did something that changed my life forever. Lindsey got on the floor, faced me, looked in my eyes, and said "I believe in you." Those were the words that I needed to hear.
I had a wonderful childhood. I was loved by many, encouraged always, and I had been told "I believe in you," many times before. What hit me at that very moment was, that I was a vulnerable, miserable person, who felt alone, and a perfect stranger looked me in the eye, and with conviction, told me she believed in me.
That was Day 1 of the rest of my life. It took me 22 months to lose 100.25 pounds. I have never felt more fantastic. I wanted this feeling to last forever. Well guess what? I failed again. I put on 15 pounds and 5% body fat. Good news is, this time I am able to recognize it and stop it before it got out of control. Do you want to know what keeps me going? A family of people who "Believe in Me."
There are days where I mentally struggle. Sometimes I cry during a workout or after workouts. Some days, it is self doubt, some days it's self pride, some day's I feel overwhelmed and blessed. No matter what reason it is, I know that is part of growing. I have learned that it's ok to cry. It's ok to be angry, It's ok to feel fantastic. The most important take away from this is....YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF. When you have moments when you don't, you have to remember that OTHERS BELIEVE IN YOU.
Losing weight is Journey that one will never forget. You learn about YOU. You learn to love YOU. It's not an easy process and it never gets easier. Find something or someone that fuels you and inspires you. I am blessed that not only do I have my Coach Lindsey, my CFH Family, my family/friends, I have something that no one can ever take away from me. I HAVE JESUS!
"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13