Sunday, January 13, 2013
One of my challenges in life has been my illness. Most of you know, I have lupus. I always carry a low-grade fever and deal with muscular and joint aches on a day-to-day basis. I have been on every medication that treats it and have had to discontinue them because of the side effects. I have also used home remedies, herbal therapies, modified my diet, etc., etc., but still have to deal with some very bad days when it just wants to rear its ugly head and make my life, well, hell.
There are times when it not only makes day-to-day activities very difficult and painful, it wears and tears on the spirit as well. I'm not a vain person but I take alot of pride in my appearance. I believe in looking your best even if you're just running to the grocery store for milk. But it would seem this disease doesn't care about that. When the rash appears, it comes with a vengeance. No amount of make-up or creams will cover it. At times, to this day, I still cry when it happens because the little girl inside of me is afraid of being laughed at or shunned.
I cried last week before work when I woke up to the pain, swelling and rash. I was scared. My new coworkers had not seen this side of me. They met me with understanding and compassion. Some even put their arm around me and asked if they could help with some of my responsibilities. That helped. Of course I was stubborn and insisted that I could still function at my normal capacity. And I did. But inside I still die a little bit when this hits me. But I am surviving. I WILL survive.
The rash is now subsiding a little. It seems to have lasted a little longer than normal this time and my eyes are still swollen terribly!
Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your support and understanding. It helps to complain a little, lol. So thank you for listening to that as well. :) I hope that you all are doing well and had a very wonderful weekend. I miss getting on here and aggravating you all like I used to. For some reason "torturing" others makes me feel better, lol. I carry you all in my heart and hold you in my prayers each and every day.
God bless you. I sure do love you.