Sunday, January 13, 2013
Yes I've taken the leap. I'm back on sparkpeople again for the 3rd time. I don't have school right now so I'm putting my OCD to work with obsession over healthy eating. Since putting on 30 pounds from my old "fat" weight I now look back and see that the me then should have been accepted by myself. I used to think that having 10 pounds to lose was a lot of weight. It wasn't. I am trying to tell myself that 40 pounds isn't either. I can do this! I look back on the old me and realize she wasn't so bad. She knew a lot! She knew that fitness took priority over a night out with friends. She also never put invitations in front of exercise. If she had to exercise at 5 at night and someone said hey lets go out to dinner, she would have said no, or she would have said "hey I am going to the gym first then I'll be there". She wasn't afraid to try new things. She wasn't afraid to pole dance or practice contortion. She didn't mind being naked. She wasn't afraid to workout in front of the mirror at the gym next to the most fit person there. Fear didn't take hold of her. The one thing she did do that I don't want to do is give up on herself. I want to be that me without giving up! I am taking what I know, and applying the good to today and everyday.