I am still trying to process the fact that I am at goal weight, and no longer need to lose weight. I am down 95 pounds, several jeans sizes (from a tight 18 to a comfy 2), 41.5 inches (and didn’t start taking measurements until I had already lost 20 pounds) and am now in a healthy BMI and weight range. I have gained the ability to run again, lift heavier weights, do zumba for over an hour and not feel like I will die.
So what does it look like to lose 95 pounds while being 5'0" tall? The starting pic was taken about the week before I started back on SparkPeople this time (mid-March 2011). The current pic was taken about the time I hit goal weight (within a week to week and a half).
Another set of starting and goal weight pics. This starting pic was taken a few months before I started back on SparkPeople, but was approximately the same weight as when I started. The current (goal weight) pic in this one was taken this New Year's Eve as I was getting ready to go out with a friend (lol, my hair was not done yet).
However, besides gaining my physical health back, I have gained so so much more. I can run up a flight of stairs without being out of breath. I’ve gained a ton more self-confidence. I’ve stopped accepting being put down and being treated poorly. But most importantly, I’ve learned how to love myself. I had a friend point out to me how mean I was being to myself. I remember her asking if we would let someone else be that mean to us. Sad thing is, I used to let people put me down. But, her asking that made something “click” and I stopped allowing others to treat me poorly and also stopped putting myself down. This also became the huge turning point in me learning to love myself.
This is a favorite pic of mine, from shortly after I realized how mean I had previously been to myself, and was learning how to love myself. I remember the feeling of realizing that I could fit all of me in one pant leg of jeans that used to be tight on me at my starting weight. I started giggling as I hopped across my apartment to get my phone while trying not to fall face first into my carpet.
The most common questions I get now are how does it feel to be at goal weight and how did you lose so much weight. How does it feel to be at goal weight? Amazing, overwhelming, mind-blowing… only to name a few of the many things I’m feeling at the moment. I was pretty much numb and in shock when I saw 124.8 on the scale (below my goal weight of 125). I took a picture of the scale, sent it to an amazing friend, and got a phone call from her almost immediately (before I even had a chance to sit down) with her squealing in my ear. :)
I did not have my major reward planned until about 4 ½ months before reaching my goal weight, to have an amazing friend, that I actually met through the SparkPeople Live meetings when they were being held, come visit for New Year’s Eve weekend. We also went on a MAJOR shopping spree to start rebuilding an entirely new wardrobe for me, one that actually fits me. :)
New Year's Eve day and night
I was also told that I should do something crazy, lol… and I did in the end. I had been thinking about getting my nose pierced since just shortly before I started my journey on SparkPeople in March of ’11, so I did Wednesday night (the day after hitting goal weight). It didn’t really hurt and I absolutely love it!! I want to eventually get a nose stud with a baby diamond in it once it has healed. The best thing about the piercing is that every time I see myself in a mirror, window, shiny spoon ect... it is a constant reminder to me of just how far I have truly come.
A pic taken the morning after having my nose pierced.
The things I have learned the most from this journey are that it is about the journey (not a quick fix) and learning along the way, to love myself, that I can succeed at what I put my mind to, and the value of commitment to myself. If I was asked when I started this journey if I would like a magic wand to instantly get me to my goal weight I would have hands down instantly take it. Now, looking back, I would not have taken it for the entire world. The journey along the way has gotten me to where I am. As others have told me, losing weight is 90% mental work. One of the priceless things I have learned along the way is that putting myself down gets me nowhere, but that forgiving myself, learning, and loving myself can take me to innumerable places in life. This journey has also taught me that by not giving up, by dusting myself off when I slip up and keep going, I can achieve what I set my mind to… a skill and knowledge that has untold value for life. I made a commitment to myself when I set out in mid-March of 2011 to become healthier. I stuck to that commitment and can now say every struggle and break-through, high and low, set-back and leap forward was worth it. SparkPeople has given me the skills to continue on in maintenance, and also taught me that even though I am at goal weight this journey is not done. This journey is a journey for life, and I am now progressing onto the next stage. I am excited for the challenges this will bring.