For years I was too serious and intent on getting "things done" so I could "make" myself perfect. However, I have learned that I cannot MAKE myself do anything for any length of time, much less forever, and that outer works without the inner labor never lasts. That is because "as a man thinketh in his heart so is he" and I believed lies that kept me in bondage to my self defeating behaviour of overeating and eating junk food.
The spirit whispered years ago "Get rid of the lies and doors will open to you". The biggest lie I believed was that if I lost weight I would have the peace I so much longed for because then I would be perfect and God would answer my prayers that my wayward family members change their own self defeating behaviours." WOW was that a 'mouth full' in more ways than one. Now that I see it written down, I can see how ridiculous that was. But at the time I couldn't .
This is the Sabbath, a day of rest, so I decided to do just that, rest. Some years ago the spirit spoke, "Lighten up". So today, after all these years, I decided to do just that, lighten up and get my rest. The Sabbath is a day to rest from my labors, and I have been working long and hard; having had an earlier admonition to 'work within' some fifteen or twenty years ago. I wondered why it has taken me so long to just rest from my labors. I guess it wasn't time yet.
At any rate I am posting a different venue. I want to tell you about my spoiled rotten, darling, frustrating, abstinent, cute and beloved little dog, "Baby".
My 'Baby' is a Chihuahua mix. Her mother is a toy chihuahua and her dad, well your guess is as good as mine. Except that perhaps he may have been a small terrier that was a neighbor's dog. Neighbors can be preeetty sneaky at times. LOL
I got her at the insistence of my DH when my mother's Chihuahua, that I had inherited, passed away. He figured our young grandchildren who lived with us as well as their parents would like another dog to replace the one we lost. I really wasn't into having another one because I just wasn't ready for an added responsibily, but when I saw the cute little ball of fur I just couldn't resist. My neighbor had offered me the puppy when it was weaned and gave it to me when she was only 5 weeks old. This is what she looked like a few months after I got her.
Of course the responsibilities mounted as she refused to eat dog food. I tried every kind under the sun and she just turned her nose up at it all. I began cooking for her; ugh. She will eat cooked meat, but does not like the same thing evey day. I suppose she is like me and likes a variety. I have to switch from chicken to hamburger (which she will eat under duress) and roast beef or other meat I might have cooked. Sometimes she will eat an egg. Now the dear little thing will not eat at all unless I place the food on a plate on the floor beside me in the living room where I sit and coax her to eat and praise her for doing so.
I finally got her paper trained for peeing, at least three fourths of the time, but in all the six years I have had her she refuses to do her other duty on the paper. There was no way I was going to let her run the house and ruin my new carpet. So we housed her in the lanoleum floored utility room overlooking the dining room so she could see us through the baby gate we put up to keep her in.
What a pain having to climb over that gate every time we wanted to do laundry, and that was at least two or thee batches a day. She wanted out in the worst way and would stand on her hind legs and jump and jump and jump trying to get over that gate. That was after she tried to chew holes in the plastic mesh the gate was partly made of. She did a pretty good job of tearing up one gate, so we got another.
Baby never made it over or through the gate. We did feel sorry for her, but again I planned on keeping my carpet descent. We let her out two or three times a day to run lickity splip up the hall, back and forth, to and around in the bedrooms, back down again into the family room and back down the hall, until she was worn out, just to get some exercise. When we would tell her "Come here" of course she didn't want to go back in the room. She never really claimed it as her own and she would cower down, scooting around on the floor, trying not to be picked up. She looked like a mop with her long hair and all I could do was laugh. Finally I would be able to pick her up and put her back to watch her jump some more.
We took her a couple of times to a groomer and the second time Baby bit the groomer. We hadn't gotten her shots yet and the groomer was not a happy camper when she found out. She told us not to bring her back again. We immediately took her to the vet to get her rabies shot and when we did the vet said she had been abused because he couldn't even pick her up without her crying. She had several sore places on her. The vet also said there had been complaints about the particular goomer we took her too, for abusing their dogs. I of course never took her back there again.
Now that we have moved to Utah, we have had to figure out where to keep her because the landlord would only allow us to keep Baby if we didn't let her run around. We fixed up a 3 by 5 broom closet that again looks over the dining room and she alternates between there and the bathroom because the closet is so cold we have to keep a heater blowing into it at night.
She has also trained me to let her stay by my side on the couch while I use the computer, so I don't have to listen to her whine to get out of the bathroom. However that only works for a while until she hears a noise and begins her ear piercing bark. I guess she thinks she is protecting me. She's sure not protecting my ears. So back into the bathroom she goes until night time in her dog cage bed in the utility closet. This is what she look like now.
I do not have the ability to upload a picture of her because I do not have a scanner printer, but I found this picture on the internet and it looks just like her, same color and same expression when I let her know I am upset with her; except for one thing that is. My dog does not have her hair pulled back in the middle with a bow in it. Not that I don't want to pull it back and put a clip in it, because her eyes weep and she looks so ungroomed with the hair around her eyes matted, but she wants nothing to do with a bow or a clip.
In fact when I tried yesterday after her bath she shook her head so hard the clip flew out of my hand and disappreared from sight. I was sure it had gone down the drain in the sink next to where I was holding her, since I couldn't find it. I gave up and just said, oh forget it. Doesn't she seem to be saying, Aaaaw mama I'm sorry!
I don't think at this age my little dog is trainable so I will just live with her quirks as she does mine and just love her the way she is, cuddly, cute and loveable regardless. I do believe however that I am getting more trainable all the time. Another thing I do know is that she loves me and I cannot be angry at that.
Love that dog!