Kinds of Progress
Sunday, January 13, 2013
In my dieting days, I used to measure progress by how many calories I ate, measurements, weight, and various other numbers. I measured all food down to the last tenth of a gram, and obsessed over whether to add onion slices to my evening salad. Those details would end up being the focus of my life, dominating my thoughts at all hours of the day and night.
Despite all the time and effort I put into dieting, I never really lost weight or got any healthier. The opposite, in fact, since none of that was helping my depression or anxiety at all.
Now I'm trying to forget all about the numbers. I'm still measuring portions, but now I'm doing it to make sure I get all the nutrients I need each day. To make sure I'm getting enough, instead of making sure I'm not having too much. I'm not weighing anything, either. Instead of taking half an onion and weighing it out, I'm happy just to add half an onion to the tracker. I'm OK with dividing a pound of ground chicken into equal portions without weighing each one. I might be off by a few grams, but it feels a whole lot more natural.
Not having that need to obsess over every tiny thing is a big deal. It's a totally different kind of progress from what I used to aspire to, but it's much better for me.