Saturday, January 12, 2013
I'm not terribly proud of today and there is really nothing I can admit to having accomplished besides some fussing at my family with resulting cooperation and help with some chores that were long overdue in being managed. I had lunch with my best friend today and after that, our weather has changed from being unseasonable jacket weather to full on cold, "blizzardy" stuff. Micah is outside shoveling this late because he is excited about the wintery stuff being back.
Personally, I didn't sleep much last night because I was trying to comfort my sweet Lady. She is not making much progress on this cone, but she is on her second sleep of the day. I think fatigue and antibiotics are both helping her to get some rest. It is hard for her to eat or get drinks, so I am recruiting people to help her to get to her nourishment. With her short basset body, that cone drags and causes her grief. The vet trimmed it down, and my husband was going to trim it some more--but I stopped him because any further trimming would go into the seam and then the thing would probably fall apart and be ineffective. I would hate for her to have to have a third procedure on her beautiful ear. She is my baby in so many ways...
I went to WW and weighed in, having gained back 2 of the 2.2 i lost last week. I am not surprised. I was as active as I could be last week, doing my exercises and going places to get my pedometer going--but my eating was either poor (not enough) or poor (bad choices.) I am going to have to resign myself to maintenance until I have recovered from my hip. I am ready for it to move on, but I am also already dreading that I have to return to work in 3 weeks and start dealing with the monkey business that ruined most of my week. I talked at length to my therapist about why I am so defined by my job and why, after 7 years that this woman causes me so much grief. He laughed and said that he was thinking the same thing. For the first time--or maybe second--he gave me straight up advice. I told him that she "was a flake" and his response was that I was never to be surprised by anything she does again. He said that I could be disappointed and temporarily caught off guard, but that I could not let her surprise me again. She has done this month after month for 7 years and I don't understand how she operates or the strange ways that she does things, all based on lies and other mistruths. I am as honorable and honest as I can be--and straightforward; the things she says and does hurts me and defies what I value. Now, can I NOT be surprised when she tells me that she won't place someone until the end of the week and then does so the next day, choosing a person I specifically asked her to not choose? I don't know, but I will try to remember that she's a flake and doesn't operate the way I think most people do, certainly the way I do. It is at least an approach instead of this constant garbage in my professional life.
I finally fell asleep around 5:30 to take a short nap when my husband woke me up to let me know he cooked a pot of chili for dinner (yummy, lots of tomatoes!! woo hoo, my favorite!!) I was pretty grumpy because it was the first nap I have had all week. I fussed at virtually everyone and told them they didn't need to eat until they did their chores--and they did them. I went back to sleep for about an hour and it felt good. This is the time of the day when my body hurts the worst. Sleeping through some of that after taking my pain meds allowed me to wake up with some control over the pain. I could make this a habit.
I feel better--still tired, but better after a nap. It is snowing hard so church might be out of my reach for tomorrow. My husband won't let me go out if it is slippery and I will cooperate--no more falling for me. All I can do is see what tomorrow brings.
Thanks for being my friends!!