Tears in my ears.....
Saturday, January 12, 2013
The weekend started out like any other day....getting up early has become my "new norm". I quickly unwrapped my legs, massaged them, cleaned & completed a skin check, lotioned them up good and started wrapping them back up. To be "compliant" this will also become part of my new norm.
I headed over to the dining room and noticed "the guys" weren't there yet...wheeled backwards to their room and checked to see if they were joining me for breakfast? It's always more fun when "the gang is all there"!!
Found out today that Darold will be heading homeward on Monday and while I'm happy for his success in heading home, I'm also sad that my dear friend will no longer be here. I will miss him greatly!! We've had many "heart-to-heart" conversations and spent many hours encouraging each other.
This weekend I'm supposed to be thinking about where I want to move to and what level of care that I will need. This weighs heavy on my heart - as it will be hard to say "good-bye" and as I lay here upon my bed....I have tears in my ears!
I spoke briefly with the Social Worker - if I feel I need 24/7 nursing care....the costs could be as much as $9,000 a month. But if I want to try to get into Assisted Living....that would probably cost about $2500 to $5000 a month. And finding space available may be difficult, but she mentioned there are programs of many different levels of care and she is willing to help me go through every step of the way.
Staying here is not an option - I gave up on the only available bed in Long Term Care. While I know everyone here, I would rather head somewhere closer to home and friends!
As the word spreads through the care facility...that Annie will soon be leaving, many have come forward and paid me compliments. That I'm truly a gem - encouraging the needs of others, helping fellow patients in the dining room, my gift of laughter has helped many people try harder in their efforts to make it through therapy with renewed strength and enthusiasm.
All I've failed at is encouraging myself to have that same cheerful outlook....
January 17th - I will be released from Occupational Therapy and it will be my last day here, provided that I find another place to head to.
"Private pay" has become those dreaded words that have me currently worried. Some seem to think that perhaps, by going someplace else...they might have other answers or suggestions on what I can try next or have different techniques that would enable me to stand or walk.
I no longer have that faith in myself....and the tears seem to flow quite frequently these days.