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    VBPARROTHEAD   23,187
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Aloneness


Saturday, January 12, 2013

People say, It must be lonly without Ed and it is but it is so much more than that. How can it be more than lonliness? I am not sure but I know that it is so much more.

It is having one side of the bed unmade because I now sleep alone. It is having one plate, one knife, one fork and one spoon at meals because I now eat alone. It is always sitting in the driver's seat with no one in the other seat because I now run errands alone. It is getting groceries purchased, loaded, and home in half the time because Ed isn't with me and stopping to talk to people because I am alone. It is taking twice the time to do what used to take half the time, because I am alone. It is being the odd person at a friend's birthday dinner because I am no longer a couple but I am alone.

The worst is when someone says let's do this or that and I have to say, I can't because I have so much less income and so many more bills and I am facing it all alone!

Lord, God and Father, only you can get me through this and turn it into compassionate help for others. Please Lord, comfort me, help me through this that I may do the same for others.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SHERRYGAYL 1/13/2013 11:24AM

    That's such a hauntingly beautiful way of expressing how you're feeling. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. emoticon

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LADYHAWKE917 1/12/2013 9:34PM

    emoticon

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DIANNEMT 1/12/2013 8:18PM

    I have not lost my husband--I watch my mother-in-law deal with the loss of her husband. You need to do what you need to do for YOU! I hope you have a support group that you can go to or a clergy person that you can talk to. You are still hurting and will, in all likelihood, ALWAYS hurt some because you have such a loss. But your husband is watching you, saying that you are a strong woman and you will survive this--your kids and grands need you!

Please find a support group and know that I am praying for you.

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JO88BAKO 1/12/2013 8:11PM

    God will provide for you, really. Life gets really really hard. He is there for you, watching over you. It's His time not ours. Take a deep breath. Get a good nights sleep. God's Blessings to you.

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BARBARASDIET 1/12/2013 8:09PM

    I don't know how long you were married but you have to get on with your life.I know that for the first 4 months or so after my husband died--after a long illness, believe me, your husband went in a much better way--I was just at sea. I think it takes a conscious effort to pull yourself up and get back to life.

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