Saturday, January 12, 2013
Well, it's been a good week. I've seriously fallen in love with Spark (although I tend to call it "Sparkle"). I've talked about it with my kids (my name for my students) and many, many adults at the school where I work.
I've taken the time to work out with cardio blast and have started swimming again (6xs this week!). I was a swimmer in junior and high school. I'm even riding my stationary bike for longer.
I've tracked my food religiously and have kept within the parameters.
This is the best tracking for the longest time I've completed in years! And yet . . . I think there's a part of me that's ready to be finished. I mean, it's been 10 days, shouldn't I have lost some weight? I mean serious, 10 lbs+ worth of weight!! Just today I realized that it's a very L O N G SLOW process to lose weight and become physically fit. It's a journey, a process, a learning/relearning process, a new way of living, a lifestyle. It may take more than one year.
Above all, I want (in my heart of hearts) to become healthy. I want to lose the weight until I'm out of heart attack range. Then, with this new strength and tame the demon that has possessed me for SO LONG. Not only the one that says, "oh my, the shadow of your butt weights 300 lbs" but the one that simply doesn't believe in who I am. The heartbreaking destroyer of self esteem, the negative and depressed me. This is the one who haunts my dreams and whispers negative beliefs in my ear. The Depressed one.
I will take on this task, work this program and change how I have become. I will take my time, breathe, slow down and smell the roses when it comes to accomplishing these goals. I know I HAVE done this before but never to the point of silencing the negative thoughts. But this time, I'm taking it on. I'm focusing. I'm listening. I am working on that PATIENCE with it all. I am beginning again.
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read and/or comment. I hope to be talking to y'all again real soon. Until then, take care!