Saturday, January 12, 2013
Today is 1/12/13, which is one of those fun dates to write. I love stuff like that: 12/12/12, which is very special since it's the last time all the numbers will be the same. But days like 1/11/12 were special too because the first two numbers add up to 12, which is the category of today's date. Yay!
And tomorrow, my 50th birthday, will be 1/13/13, or in Europe 13/1/13, which is still kind of fun. But right now, I'm feeling good about everything, because I have finally realized that no matter what happens, God's got this.
I don't know if it's just the introspection that comes at one's 50th birthday, or perhaps it's the kind of thinking that comes after the death of one's last parent. This past year has been one of change for me; moving to another city and greatly downsizing in the process; my oldest son heading towards getting married, my other son heading towards an early college graduation, and both out of our household--where we couldn't house them anyway because of the downsizing! But I suspect it's God's timing for it all to come together just when Fritz is preaching on "The Purpose Driven Life," by Rick Warren.
Fritz has preached on the concepts in this book before, but I never really participated. Up to this point, my primary focus has been our sons, but once they moved out, there has been a shifting of priorities. A move was a perfect time to realign those priorities, and so that's what I've been working on. I thought about going back to school so I could have the "career" I never had.
Then I began reading "Purpose Driven Life," and it was as though God opened my eyes. He made me realize that I had spent so much time--SO MUCH TIME-- wanting something else. If only I had done this or done that, I had been thinking, then I would be fulfilled. But I suddenly realized that to think that way was like...oh, I'll have to work on a good image! It was like looking at something that wasn't real, but in my mind had become real. Kind of like when people watch soap operas and take them so seriously that they consider the characters to be real people. But I was missing the wonder that is my life.
I have been so blessed. I was born to parents who loved me, and to a family who cared about me. I was able to go to good schools and graduate from college. I have a wonderful husband who puts me before the work at church, and I have two sons who are loving and sincere. I have an abundance of experience from work and from church and from life, but more importantly, I have met so many wonderful people who have shaped my life. The point is that I don't need anything else. God has provided for all my needs, truly according to His riches in glory.
I finally understand contentment, because it's not about me. It's about God. When I put Him first, trusting Him for all my needs, He will provide. He will help me to lose weight because I won't be worshiping food. I'm worshiping Him. He will help me live an active life because He will put me in situations where I am glorifying Him.
There is a German word: "gemütlich." Apparently it is hard to translate into English, but it means basically, having a good time. That's life with God. Trusting Him means, no matter what, all can be "gemütlich," because God has your back. That's how I will live.