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BLC Goal - Reconciliation

Saturday, January 12, 2013

For someone who has lost weight, a challenge that I'm facing is making the connection of what my mind perceives and what is reality. My mind perceives my body at 215#. The reality is I'm 78# less than that. I'm really struggling with that body image. Someone came up to me yesterday and said how awesome it must be to be so thin and that I'm doing a good job of keeping it off. I said thank you but, afterwards I struggled. I struggle with getting compliments like that because in my mind, I'm still obese and still need to lose weight. I'm not thin enough! Does that make sense?

I don't have too many full body pictures of me when I was at my highest weight. But, I came across this photo this morning.


When I compare myself to what I was to what I am now,

I still have a hard time coming to terms with my weight loss and reconciling what I was to what I am now. That is one of my goals for BLC (besides losing those last 10#). I need to learn to celebrate who I am now but, in a way to mourn the loss of the person I was.

And maybe that is what this journey, for me, is all about. Mourning the person that allowed herself to gain the weight that I did. I didn't love myself very much at that point. I guess, I know what my next blog post will be about.

Have a wonderful Saturday!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post

    You are not alone in your thoughts.
    Thank you for sharing.
    I can tell you are beautiful inside and out.

    1891 days ago
  • CHERYLA2012
    Perfect sense!

    Body mastery and moving past your fear(s). Your mind and heart will eventually move in sync with each other.


    A Mindfulness Reminder I am trying to master ~

    If you are depressed, you are living in the past.

    If you are anxious, you are living in the future.

    If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

    Be at peace,SparkFriend, Sue!

    1891 days ago
    Wow, are you an inspiration, Sue!!! Congrats!
    1892 days ago
    Try not to think of it as size, but as health.

    You MUST feel so much better. I know that I do.

    Concentrate on the fact that YOU are capable of turning your body into a healthy machine, not that you were a different number on the scale. YOU are still the same person, just in a smaller package.

    It is not important that you were once heavy. What is important is that you take care of yourself now.

    To me your new picture looks STRONG!
    1892 days ago
    emoticon Good to hear about the other side. Be glad to see the day when I have to worry about adjusting to an incredible weight loss. emoticon emoticon
    1892 days ago
  • KATI5668
    it is amazing how our "body" image can confuse us. It does take some time to refocus & realize that yes we are the same person,,,maybe better in many ways..more fit..more energy..healthier for sure!

    Honestly my problem is just the opposite of yours..I gained this weight & still bang into walls or doorjams cause I have not grabbed to the idea of "my size"..& do not intent is coming off thas all there is to that!

    emoticon you can do that last 10#..just look at what you have achieved!

    Good luck on BLC 21...................
    1892 days ago
    Big hugs. My own struggle is with consistency in maintenance (and I'm a bit outside my range right now). My best friend lost over 100 lbs 2 years ago, and she has many of the same struggles as you. You look great. You were a great person before, and you're a great person now--same body, but different contours, if that makes any sense. It can be hard to be the same person inside when folks on the outside perceive you so differently.
    1892 days ago
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