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I'm feeling like crap, but doing my best.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Don't worry, when I say I feel like crap, it's not mentally. It's only that since a few months, my pressure went up and I really feel physically bad from that. This morning, I'm at 120/94 and I have a headache. I know that at 95, I should be going to the hospital but I don't want to spend an entire day at the emergency when I know that I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday and I can ask her to change my meds at the same time.

The famous appointment... It's for blood sugar control. My doctor is amazing, she won't yell at me because I gained weight (40 pounds in 6 months), because she knows that it won't work. Instead, she's trying to find some solutions to help me in this process. There is this intraveinous medicine that helps losing weight. They have it in form of pills, but I couldn't support them (side effects). With my blood test, she will tell me if i'm eligible for that. I hope so because 1- It'll help me losing weight and 2- I changed my insurance to cover 100% of my meds because this thing would be really expensive (3-6$ per day) and my insurance costs me a lot more now.

Yesterday, I did well. I ate correctly (maybe too much food for lunch, it was chinese leftovers). I went to the supermarket for the groceries and I walked at least 20 minutes to get there.

But I am concerned. I had an hard time sleeping all week (I did maybe 5-6 hours every night, sometimes less than that) and it's like I'm having an hard time to breathe. When I wake up, the lack of sleep affects my pressure so it's pretty high every time. Yesterday, I even took another pressure pill in the evening so I could do the groceries. Definitively not good! I wonder if I am sick...

I'm finally setting up things with my friend for the gym. We'll join the Nautilus. I will take one course every week with her. For the rest, I will follow my own program, which would be the Transform one.

This seems to be a harsh program. The goal: Transform your body totally by working hard (5-6 times at the gym per week) and having good nutrition. They have a special for the 6 months plan. You have appointments with a trainer every 2 weeks and meetings with a nutritionnist that will help you depending of what you need (they can even go with you at the supermarket!).

I wanted to start the weight loss slowly, but I'm too concerned with my health. I have to work hard and fast so that I can recover fully. My plan right now: Push it hard for 6 months so that I can lose the weight that I gained, then finding my own pace.

It's a very expensive program and I wouldn't take it if there wasn't a promotion, but I need support and it seems that this program will give me one.

Oh, and I know I have another gym subscription until may (silly me!) but I have a big allergy to the old gym now. Nobody at the front desk, nobody helping you, trainers that are always 15 minutes late, tons of people at the gym and you never have the machines.

The gym I would go to is in downtown Montreal, but it's new (one year and a half) and quite hidden (that's weird, it's 1-2 minutes walk from a metro station!). that's why there is not a lot of people training there. Since it costs a lot, you have more support from the employees out there (that's what it seems).

When I made the groceries yesterday, I bought 2 Nutella bottles for my boyfriend because I wanted him to be happy. I had no intention to eat that myself. Then he said that he would hide the bottles so I couldn't eat that. And you know what? I'm ecstatic about that. He thought that I would be angry but I actually thanked him. He is a slim junk food eater but I think we can find our way.

So, there are the Nutella bottles, but also tons of fruits and vegetables. I even bought pre-washed salad to eat, a thing that I never did in my life. I have some meals to cook (thai vegetable saute with peanut butter, and I have a beef soup) and new habits to take (here you go, little tofu!). I bought a lot of things that I didn't have (healthy cereals, 1% milk) so my bill was pretty high at the end. But I have a lot of things that will last (2 pounds of brown rice, boyfriend is eating only white one).

One last thing: at my job, the new girl told me she lost 55 pounds by working out. Wow! Since I have a few colleagues around that that have health goals, it's actually motivating me.

Sorry, it was long. I had a lot to tell. Thank you for reading my post! =)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm glad your doctor is helping you. emoticon And no this blog wasn't too long- I loved reading every word. One day at a time my friend!
    1891 days ago
    Hope you get that blood pressure under control. good that your doctor is helping you.
    1892 days ago
    I really appreciate your honesty. And it wasn't too long. I enjoyed every word. Keep pushing, my friend.
    1892 days ago
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