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    MANDELOVICH   62,120
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Having what I want

Friday, January 11, 2013

Today I listened to another part of Geneen Roth's audiobook in which she talked about how emotional eaters binge because they feel if they can't have what they really want, they will eat what they want.

This made sense to me. There are so many areas of my life right now that are completely not going my way. I really can't have what I want right now at all.

She mentions that we deserve to feel well, not overeat.

She asks what non food related things I want for my life. Well, when I think about that question, I know it's not cashews! That is for sure.

I want my husband to be well and live to see our daughter graduate HS, go to college, get married, and all of those reasonable things we assume our mates will be able to do when we get married.

I want to have enough money to feel safe taking days off from work to care for him when he's sick from chemo or when he needs to go to really invasive procedures. I want to not worry about my job or paying rent.

I want some time to rest and just be still and quiet.

I want someone to come here and wave a magic wand and make life simple. wants are really not possible...

But, according to Geneen Roth I need to allow that longing in order to let go of using food to feel like I'm getting what I want. The longing needs to be honored.

I think I get that...

She says, very astutely, that turning to food when I'm not hungry is a sign that I'm wanting something else. In that moment, I'm supposed to ask, "What am I longing for?"

I had a small realization tonight. I binged on nuts after a very stressful day at work. And when I got home, I remembered that my mom, my aunt, and my best friend all suggested that I make a big bowl of popcorn every night to quell my urge to binge. I've been resisting this suggestion for 2 months now, because I keep telling myself "I'll NEVER binge again". Everyday I tell myself I'll get over this and won't do it. But then I do it again and again and again. So if I just accept the fact that I'm going to want to do this, and have popcorn instead, it will be so much better.

I'm still going to honor my non-food longing, but I'm also going to accept where I am right now, instead of fighting against it every day. And eating popcorn will do far less damage.
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANDOSUE52 1/12/2013 11:38AM


((HUGS)). What you are going through is incredibly hard and life changing.
It's good that you are reaching out for ways to change your thinking so that your bingeing doesn't continue to be one more thing that makes you feel out of control.
I wish I could tell you that the food will make you feel better, but we both know that it never will. Sending prayers your way.

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TRIANGLE-WOMAN 1/12/2013 10:26AM

    I did not realize your family was struggling with health issues.

I'll keep you and your husband in my prayers.



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    You do have a lot of very reasonable yet difficult wants given your current situation. I commend you for being here and blogging your feelings and thoughts. For listening to those pod casts and working on your inner self through it all.

You will get through this and I agree about what she said with regards to using food to fill our wants. I have been doing this for years and it stops now as I realize I must only eat when I'm really hungry.

The popcorn idea is definitely a good idea too!

I hope you have a good day today!! Remember, take it one day at a time my friend... emoticon

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 1/11/2013 10:46PM

    Yeah popcorn can do a lot less damage. :-) So can baby carrots. I've started drinking the different kinds of flavored seltzer water (the ones without sweetener). They feel like a treat without any calories at all. They wouldn't satisfy an urge to crunch something, though, and sometimes one needs that.

CARRIE1948 turned me onto a similar book called "Life is Hard, Food is Easy" that I've been getting lots of helpful insights from.

Hang in there!


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