Friday, January 11, 2013
I use to be a lot more active. Active within my community, active with my family, active for just me. Now...I'm more of a recluse. I know that I could be worse off. I know I could be "bigger" and that there are some who wish they were at my weight, but for me...knowing I am bigger than I have been in years, its not healthy, nor attractive and so I dont "show myself" out in public anymore. I dont feel good alot of times, and I am well aware that this is just depression. If I got out and exercised the endorphins and all the good mojo would kick in and I would surely start to feel better. Eventually I would look better. I keep asking my sweetheart if he wants to go out and do a few things i.e. walk, run, even leave for a while to get away from the house, but he and I both know we spend he spends enough time away being active, so when he is home...he just wants to relax. I do understand that and I dont push too hard. I think he forgets though...if I ask him to hang with me...its because I WANT him to. I really dont want to exercise on my own, but I may have to start soon. Its starting to get nice outside, at least is was today. Perhaps if it continues being nice out...Ill take advantage of one of these days and go for a walk. Perhaps one of those walks will turn into a run and then perhaps...PERHAPS I might just be able to shed this dang 20 something pounds of fat! THAT would be AWESOME!