20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 20,460

Struggling with the T word

Friday, January 11, 2013

Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
Believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.
noun. confidence - faith - credit - reliance - belief
verb. believe - confide - rely - credit - hope - entrust

During my second personal training session today, it became very clear to me that my trust issues were still very potent and close to the surface rather than lying dormant and ineffectual in some murky crevice as I had previously believed. While the trainer pushed me past my comfort zone, I found myself hesitating and envisioning a smashed nose, or concussed head after stumbling off a bench or being catapulted from a stability ball. I questioned her more than once and hesitated at her request to hold myself suspended with legs parallel to the floor. She kept nudging gently and patiently calmed my nerves when I asked if the TRX bands would hold my weight or if she had me positioned too far forward on the ball.

As a rigorous 30 minute session was coming to a close, I confessed out loud to her that I guess I have some issues with trust. She smiled and again assured me that all of the exercises were designed specifically to avoid injuring the areas I'm concerned about. Somehow, I need to let go and trust that she is there to guide me and will do everything in her power to avoid an injury. To the contrary, it is in her best interest to teach me slowly and retain me as a customer.

While I make every effort to avoid giving power to the ghosts of the past, it is impossible to altogether erase those situations which have shaped us along the way. It is important to continue to be gentle with ourselves and keep moving forward inch by inch. I consider today a victory, since it gave me the opportunity to identify an obstacle and consciously seek a solution. At the very least, I have resolved to follow the trainer's lead completely and simply observe the results.

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Congratulations on your commitment to your health - and your new willingness to place yourself in the hands of your trainer. Well done!
    1890 days ago
    Good for you for not letting your dis-trust keep you from learning and growing. Your relationship with the trainer may just into something bigger, she may someday become one of your closest friends... all because you decided to quiet your mind enough to listen to her and trust. :)
    1890 days ago
    When my DH was in the Marines and they were doing so many horrible exercises and things that made them uncomfortable he said they called them "Confidence builders".

    Glad you got through yours. Someday you will look back on it and be amazed you ever had a problem. Good for you and your trainer!
    1891 days ago
    I have found that the more good luck we have with trust, the more people we meet deserving of trust the easier it is to give.

    Light and love emoticon
    1891 days ago
  • DS9KIE
    1891 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.