Thursday, January 10, 2013
i found a 2004 diary today.
it was soo sad to read myself planning menus ,exercise and trying to stay motivated way back then.
8 yrs later i'm still doing this. GOD why have i not moved on.
i could see my usual pattern of excitement at starting over,joy at my success,pride with my new measurements,beginning to eat more at every meal,self doubt.i would stop writing my menus,stop exercising,stop dreaming.
then a re-commitment to the faith,joy at my success....and on, and on, and on.
but i don't feel down hearted, because i seem to be a nice person back then.a person who
just didn't want to give up.a person who did have dreams no matter what logic and prior experience may say.
she keeps trying anyway.she just won't give up.i actually was smiling while reading this.
i did have dreams i just have to find them again!.