Thursday, January 10, 2013
From Pocket Prayers of Hope, Simple Prayers for Women: Jesus is risen and he opened the way to eternal life for all who trust in him.
I believe that Ed has eternal life and that we will be together someday, in another realm, not here on earth. I don't know where exactly that spiritual realm is located and I don't need to know where it is, just that it does exist and that the way is open for me when it is my time.
But right now I am here on earth and Ed has entered that spiritual world and I miss him. I cry, every day I cry. Today nothing brought it on, the tears just started pouring down my cheeks. Yesterday it was when friend wanted to give me 20 dollars in case I had an emergency, the day before it was when I went into the cake shop to order a birthday cake for one of my daughters.
Who would think that ordering a cake would bring tears. Well, Ed had taken a class and had made a doll cake for out grnadgirl and had promised our grandboy a dinosaur cake. He didn't get to make it but a friend of mine did make it so keegan could have his special cake. So, I went to the shop where we used to buy cakes since my hands won't let me make flowers anymore. Long story involving being run over by a parade float.
I was talking with the owner's nephew who watches after the business when the owners are away due to the husband's health issues. After I asked about the owners I asked him to tell them about Ed when he talked with them. I began to sob and sob and sob. Jasper came from behind the counter and lovingly wrapped his sig arms around me and began to pray. I became a puddle of a person, unable to even say amen when he finished. But what a blessing. His prayer helped meget through the day. Maybe, when I go to pick up the cake he will pray for me again!
Today was a busy day. Another blessing: two young men whose mother works for my s-ipl came by to help me with some heavy and bulky chores. We got my 7'5" Christmas tree in the box (a chore in itself) and put it in the shed, turned my mattress and put my bed skirt on since I was changing spread to a comforter, repaired the footboard on the guest bed and a few other heavy chores. They wouldn't acept payment. A true blessing from two very nice teenagers.
I tried to write a note to my cousin and tried to write some more thank you notes but couldn't. The tears flowed so fast a heavily that I couldn't see the note cards to write. I guess that I will get them one day. May in another month I will be able to staunch the tears long enough to get them finished. Only about 50 more to go.
Another day down, another day without Edward, another sad and lonely day but I believe that we will see each other again, in time.