Thursday, January 10, 2013
Well, here I am... starting off YET ANOTHER new year with the resolution to lose weight.
How in the world did I get here? I'm young! Young people are "supposed" to eat whatever they want without gaining a pound. Young people are supposed to have so much energy that they naturally gravitate toward active, healthy hobbies. This is the time of my life when I'm supposed to look and feel the youngest, healthiest, and sexiest! What went wrong?
Well, I suppose it started as a kid. After all, I've always been on the chubby-ish side. I wasn't fat as a kid, but I definitely had a little extra weight. When I was fairly young, I learned how to eat out of boredom. I lived out in the middle of nowhere (literally) and during the summer when school was out I had nothing to do except eat and watch tv in the air conditioned living room. During the school year, food wasn't really an issue. Well, I suppose I had a bad habit of eating while reading, but ultimately I didn't do too bad.
I used to dance. From the age of 8 to the age 18 I did ballet, jazz, tap, and lyrical. By the time I hit high school, I was dancing around ten hours a week--minimum! I was also teaching tap classes. At that point, I certainly wasn't fat. However, I also wasn't thin. I never have been. As a dancer, this was always a cause of stress. There wasn't any pressure to lose weight from my instructors, but it was a given that, no matter how hard I worked, I would never, ever, ever be able to it as a career. It worked out, because I already knew that I didn't want to do it as a career. However, I still wanted to lose the weight. I had no idea how to go about it, though. My mom has struggled with her weight for my whole life, and I just didn't have any sense of how to have a positive relationship with food.
Then comes college. I'll skip the gory details: dorm food, beer, late night pizzas, etc. Let's just say that when I came home from my freshman year of college, I was sporting an extra 20 pounds!
I did a study abroad internship in Spain that summer. Hello 5 more pounds.
Over the next three years I managed to only gain another 10 pounds. After I graduated, I stopped weighing myself for a couple of months. I hated my new job, so I ate instead. After I quit my job in order to do what I love to do, (travel and work with kids) I lost a few pounds. By the time I finally weighed myself again in September, I was forty pounds heavier than I was the day I graduated from high school. I HAD to do something. I lost 10 pounds between September and November. Over the holidays I gained 3 back. However, now I have no reason not to lose the 33 pounds that I gained since high school--and then some! I'm determined to lose all this weight. I have a plan. And darn it, this time I'm sticking to it!