Thursday, January 10, 2013
Okay I'm being dramatic calling it a crisis... but it feels that way.
My mom was here to change my bandages for the last week (its really hard tying a bandage around your right armpit alone). She's stressful. That's putting it midly.
Two days ago she complained there was no food -- so I went to Walmart after work. While I'm there I called her to see if she thought of anything i should buy. She asked me to get a) butter pecan ice cream, b) cookies, and c) chips. Now I don't know about you -- but I AVOID those sections of the store. Those sections are dangerous for a food addict/overeater. So basically my mom sent an alcoholic to the liquor store just to get stuff for her and not me... so that didn't happen.
I ended up buying way too much crap. And consequently since it was in my house -- eating some of it. Now she destroyed a good part of it in her two days -- but monkey see, monkey do, monkey feel fat.
This morning she stormed off in a huff. Packed and left within ten minutes of me pissing her off. I won't get into it, other than to say my mom is crazy, she didn't mean what she said or did, and she probably feels bad for leaving the way that she did. So I need to forget it and get over her actions and remember that they do not reflect on me and I shouldn't get upset about it. She does this all the time.
Now as she was storming about, I packed all of the crap food in bags and put it with her stuff. She refused to take it. I didn't go put it in her car anyway because I wanted to avoid further bloodshed... but now I have a crap ton of bad food in my house.
I brought some of it to work... and then I ate some of it at work. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with this junk food. I feel dumb for even buying it in the first place... like I'm helping my mother to poison herself with food -- but I am not her parent -- so I need to let that go...
So I had a rather emotional day. And my arm hurts. Still. I see the plastic surgeon again tomorrow... We'll see what he says this week.
Tomorrow's going to be super busy. I have to drop Pippa off at the groomer. Then I have an appointment with the doc... then a salon appt... then TJ is coming down for the weekend to help me out... *sigh* I need a back massage too -- I pulled a muscle last night trying to get dressed with one arm.
I'm just going to pack it in. I have to run to Aldis for some groceries -- then I'm finally seeing Les Miz tonight with some friends.
(128 days until graduation!)