Thursday, January 10, 2013
I had to go through lots of old pictures yesterday to pick some for my son's senior ad in his yearbook. He is graduating this year. I saw lots of pictures of myself in my 20's when I was first married. I was thin, beautiful, young, with clear skin and a bright glowing smile. It's funny because I don't remember feeling that way. I felt fat and ugly. I always felt self-conscious and didn't know how to dress very well. As I look through those pictures I'm wearing lots of baggy sweatshirts and t-shirts and jeans
I always had weak stomach muscles and a little bit of a tummy. I won't ever forget a time on the train in Europe during our first year of marriage. My husband and I were on the train and a guy next to me said "Congratulations". He thought I was pregnant. I think I weighed maybe 115 pounds at the time! That incident cemented in my brain that I was fat.
Now I am 175 pounds. i don't know how to get back there. Of course, I can't go back. I am not that same person. I have to go forward. I have to create a better future for myself.