**Final Edit** Let me apologize in advance for this blog post. It once started out as something organized and coherent, but then my mind happened. :)

I can honestly say that I am nervous and apprehensive about losing weight and working out. I've never really had true success more than a pound or two. I fear that I'll give up and eat junk at my computer. That I'll be too embarrassed to go to any of the fitness classes offered at the campus gyms or use any of the equipment. What if I get judging looks or comments? I was teased very much as a child for my weight and I guess every time I think about losing weight those hurtful comments come back to me.

I wonder if some of the problem is I'm at home still, I go back to college Friday, and I'm over thinking everything. What routines to do what day? How long? How often? And at home, there are so many unhealthy foods available. Christmas cookies, chips, chocolate. And we don't really have a lot of room to workout. And…

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Added later:

I had to stop writing the previous paragraph because I had a realization. All I am doing is making excuses. I'm letting fear of the unknown control me and prevent me from trying to become healthier. Yes, I may not be able to do much about the food situation at home right now especially since I leave in two days, but I can make healthy choices with what is available. Granted the Chinese last night was worth it. But I digress.

I need to make the best of the situation and try. I might not be able to jump around and move a lot at home due to space and people, but I can do somethings! Push ups! Crunches! Use the dumbbells that are acting like a door stop (don't ask.) anything! I realized earlier that if I spent as much time working out as I do just randomly using the computer (checking Pinterest, Tumblr, etc) I would be AMAZED at my results. Yes I know I need to use if for school, work, and volunteering but do I really need to spend all my free time on it? NO!! XD

This semester, instead of being on my computer constantly I'm going to walk, do crunches, squats, yoga, anything. I will not let my grades or sanity suffer but rather than constantly refreshing the page for something new, I'll do something healthy. No more excuses of no time for this.

I can do this. I will do this.