Wednesday, January 09, 2013
I'm having such a huge dilemma... I'm almost done with with my BA, and my GPA is only a 3.09. I feel so overwhelmed with the fact that I don't think that will be enough to enter a Psy.D. program, or even a MA program. I have no experience in psychology, have taken part in any research studies, have not so much as even joined a club while I've been at the university, all because I haven't been able to because of my job. Granted it's not all my job's fault, I also live 1 hour away from the university. It's also my fault, because I've been depressed and fatigued to the point where I can't even think. But I think if I had more time to study, I can hopefully bring that 3.09 up. If I had less stress, I can stress over school instead of not caring because all my stress is focused on a crappy job.
I want to quit my job, so badly. I work as a pharmacy technician at a major chain, and the more I work there the more I can't stand it. The more scripts we fill, the more customers we attract to this chain, the more flu shots we do... The company just wants even *more*. And I'm wondering... $9 an hour worth my sanity? It has nothing to do with what I'm studying in school. But I don't know how I can make up for not making any income. My husband works and pays most of the bills, but without my income we can't do small things we enjoy, or buy food we prefer, or travel to visit our family.
I just want to be a college student. I want to take part in research, I want to join a club, I want to DO stuff related to my field. I want to have a steady schedule... and not live my life around when my shift is going to be.
I just don't know what to do. I really don't know.