Wednesday, January 09, 2013
I was posting my picture in several places yesterday and was asked that question. I answered some of it on Monday and you've had clues to it all this week. Today I'm going to go into the mental aspects of why I keep going.
Like most people here, I was uncomfortable in my body the way it was and saw pictures of myself wondering if I really looked like that. I had knee issues and my feet hurt all the time, especially in shoes, any shoes.
I had to do a few things before I was really ready though. I had a previously undiagnosed vitamin D issue, which I now control with supplements. We were living in an unhealthy apartment and the landlord would not evict certain people, so we moved for our health. I tend to be a bit more depressed when the kids are home, so I am more active when everyone is out of the house. I do the majority of my movement on days they are in school.
Since I made things align for me by getting checked by my doctor and moving out of that other apartment, I was ready. I started to find my me time again with the kids in school and I didn't have the responsibility of watching them so often. My husband will watch them or I could bring them with, I should not have that excuse, but I do like my freedom from everyone.
I discovered this website, which had all the tools and a whole group of people that could discuss things with each other. That was the bonus. Some websites give you the tools, but not the forums like this one does. I'm used to online forums, so this just helped me more, being able to vent, discuss, and help others.
I wrote down my goals, not just where I could see them, but random people that could call me out on what I'm doing could do. Even if no one actually says anything, I still have the mental feeling like if I don't do it and keep on getting results, then I'm not just letting myself down, but I'm letting down a whole group of people. Keeping my page public with my trackers free to look at by anyone keeps me honest.
I blog daily and have for nearly a year now. I find that writing down my feelings or goals occasionally helps. Writing blogs like this even helps. I write to reinforce my thoughts at the time so I can go back and read how far I've come mentally.
Reminding myself that the healthy choices are the best ones for me helps. I found tasty things that are healthy helps. There are plenty of tasty and healthy things out there. It tastes better from nature than a chemical factory. Healthy is worth the time it takes to prepare it and there are always easy ways to make things quickly.
If I have something that isn't as healthy, I make the choice, enjoy it slowly, and don't get upset over the choice. I made the choice and have to move on from it. I never get mad at myself for making choices that aren't that great, but I can't keep anything off limits or I'll crave it worse. I only make chocolate or chip or fast food choices every once in a while, not daily.
The pictures really help. I love seeing progress and it really helps to remind myself what I looked like to begin with. Visual progress keeps me going. Seeing that skinnier me is really motivating. Remember those first few pounds? I get that feeling every week I lose something and know that if I don't get it one week because of no loss or a gain, it will be back the next week.
I also like how much easier it is to move. I live on the third floor. When we first moved in, it was 4 steps too high, I was huffing by that point, but losing the weight made it easier to climb those stairs. I love being stronger, it makes me feel good to be so strong. I can carry more groceries up those stairs, which is good because healthy food is also heavier food.
I don't want to go back to that tired fat person I was last year. I like the freedom I have from being a skinnier person keeps me going. I don't want to be imprisoned in that fat body again.