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    VAPIDWENCH   12,053
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Pepping Up

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Zumba - check
Kettlebells - check
Healthy eating - check
Unbridled joy due to the David Bowie album announcement - check! Check and double check!

Now if he could just see himself doing a few live shows then my little cup of joy would overflow.

I should have seen you at Glastonbury David, *sobs*, I wanted to. I had .... I had .... *sobs* ... exams David! A-Levels! *Sobs*. I needed 'em; needed 'em to go to university, to get a job and a house and a cushy life, and ... I know David, I know, I'd have been better off watching you do a greatest hits set, but if I'd only known you were going to do some Ziggy numbers...

*blows nose*

Ahem! I might have spend a weekend in the doldrums (less an exclusive holiday retreat, more of a settee covered in cake crumbs) but now things are back on track. And what a difference a few days makes!

I'm willing to freely admit that I have body image issues; while indulging I was cringing away from the mirror absolutely certain I'd see some sort of instant lardy explosion; a cartoon character inflated with an air pump. Yet here I am, a couple of days later with pathological vanity in full flow, feeling good about exercise and looking forward to improved definition (and shrinkage).

I'm also finding new inspiration in the Biggest Loser. I've watched bits of previous series, usually when I'm feeling needlessly hungry, but the constant barrage of product placement and repetition proved utterly irritating for long term viewing pleasure. However, from listening to mean ol' Jill's podcast I'd heard that there was a new show-runner and a bit of a different perspective, and I'm really enjoying it! I'm torn between being in utter sympathy for the contestants and bemusement. It's hard to make those initial changes that keep you on the right track, and if you don't have support it's even harder to stay on there. But ... bloody hell, that ranch, those trainers?! Make the most of it! Even Jillian, who is ... insane, though I do love her so.

When I started my different fitness classes back in late September, I was a sweaty mess. I struggled with pace, stamina, and my own low fitness level. I'm not perfect now - far from it! I still can't do proper push ups, I hate double crunches, and burpees ... urgh! I've come along way though. I remember that first kettlebell class; I turned beetroot red within a minute, sweat was pouring off as I gripped my tiny little handbag weight, and afterwards I though I was going to either pass out or be sick, or possibly both. I was so utterly embarrassed by my own body, but the trainer was reassuring and encouraging, everyone was friendly and there was the knowledge that things could only get better.

Things have, and they can only get better still. I keep working out, eating right and working hard and there will be proper push ups, there will be a half marathon in October; there will (one day) be the first bikini I've ever owned and a size 10 dress! And yes, a few days ago that all that seemed impossible, but it only goes to show how all you need to right out the rough patches is to put yourself out there a little bit, and your support will give it back in spades.

At the risk of being sickeningly motivational, I'd just like to add that even if it's a case of getting yourself out the door for a walk today, who knows what it'll turn into tomorrow.
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