If you are over 60 and need a chuckle, read on.
If you are not there yet, don't worry, it's coming..........
CREMATION? Thinking outside the box.
I'M RETIRED! I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.
When I was younger, all I wanted was a nice BMW. Now, I don't care about the W.
We got married for better or worse. He couldn't do better; I couldn't do any worse.
I was always taught to respect my elders. Now I don't have anyone to respect.
I asked my wife if old men wear boxers or briefs? She said, "Depends."
I'm so old.........I don't buy green bananas.
That Snap, Crackle, Pop in the morning.......ain't my freaking Rice Krispies.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy.......and some days I let him sleep.
Senior Campbell's.....New Large Type Alphabet Soup.
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly.....eat slowly.....and lie about your age."
I'm not old. I'm chronologically gifted.
I'm so old that whenever I eat out, they ask me for money up front.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.