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    YELLOWCORVETTE   10,590
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Tuesday, January 08, 2013

I am watching the biggest loser since I missed the first few episodes. I love the fact that they are trying to help these kids this season. It breaks my heart to see them overweight because I was were they are. I don't want to see my daughter like that, like I was. It also brought my own feelings out and made me think about my child hood and why I can't seem to think I can lose this weight. I feel like a failure. I have failed at everything in life so this is no different. I feel like I am not good enough for anyone including myself. My daughter calls me fat and it breaks my heart. I'm not sure if she is joking or telling the truth since she is only 4 but either way it breaks my heart. I know I can lose the weight. I lost 29 pds and then gained most of it back. I know I can get there. But I feel like I will fail. That is what is holding me back. Something inside me tells me there is no point because I will fail. How do I change that feeling? I wanted to fun a 5k this spring but I'm not sure if that is going to happen now.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMSOSA1020 8/6/2013 3:59PM

  I think we all can say we have been there with you. I like yourself have little ones. My oldest is about to be 10, my middle child is about to be 8 and my youngest is 17 months. My middle child made a comment to me a few weeks back that made me see myself differently. She looked at me and told me "Mommy, you have a lot of water in your stomach its big". Since then I have been trying everything to work better at getting my life and my eating back where it should be. I must say its not easy. But nothing is ever impossible. Take it one day at a time and everything will be okay. If you ever want to talk I am just a message away. Good luck on your journey.

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BOOKWORM27S 6/8/2013 6:49AM

    Good luck in your weight loss journey! Just take one day and 1 lb lost at a time, and you will reach your weight loss goal.

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HLTHYLIVN_BAM 1/20/2013 12:40PM

    Hi!

I had a similar comment made in my direction at a pool by an adult. It was mortifying and I don't consider myself to be "that bad" in terms of how much I need to lose. I decided however, that, I needed to do better on my plan for me and not anyone else. I think in your case, it is for you and to set an example for your daughter - but mostly you need to feel good about! It is important to remember that even if you don't do the run you were planning if you make small changes now, you are NOT a failure. Remember that ANY PROGRESS IS PROGRESS and that any setback is only temporary if you keep going.

I don't know how you use visual collages or quotes to motivate you, but I save the spark page quotes to a file that cycle through my computer background. They help me to remember to stick with it and also to recognize that it is going to be a long journey with ups and downs. I think it is great that you reached out to the community to discuss your frustration - that in itself is a great step!!

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4EVER21B 1/14/2013 3:57PM

    I understand how you feel. Fear of failure can hold you back. But you are not a failure. You are a fighter. You have never given up. That's why you are here.

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AEGISHOT 1/9/2013 1:46AM

    If you are on Sparkpeople at all, it shows you can do it and you are doing it.

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SPIRALINGUP 1/8/2013 8:10PM

    I hear ya. Whenever I fell short, I would get back on the wagon right away. I gave myself the understanding I looked outside of myself for. Yes, we fall..but we get back up. If I can do it, believe me, you can too. Let's do this together. That's what Spark is all about.

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SHERIO5 1/8/2013 8:00PM

    emoticon

If it helps, think about what a great role model you are when you make healthy choices. Focus on becoming more healthy and fit rather than the scale. Be gentle with yourself..you deserve the same kindness you give to others!!!

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REEBADABEEBOOS 1/8/2013 4:36PM

    My three year old nephew has called me fat. Here's the thing... to kids saying someone is fat is no different than saying someone is tall or short. They don't get that it's hurtful. They see it as a fact and think facts are things that can be stated. I know it's hard, but try not to take it personally, she's not being mean. Next time, use it as a teaching tool. Tell her "Yes, mommy is fat but mommy doesn't like being called that. It hurts my feelings. It's something that I want to change about myself. etc." Be honest with her.

Let me say this... when I joined SP and decided to change my habits, I had no idea what I was doing and I also didn't think I would succeed. BUT I just started reading articles and making changes to my diet and my activity level in hopes of being HEALTHY and the weight came off. I had to realize that I'm not perfect and no one is, so I shouldn't expect weight loss to be perfect. I will lose a few pounds, then gain a few. I'll eat healthy for a few days, and then screw up by eating too much pizza. But I stick at it and keep trying.

I think the easiest thing to do is try to lose FIVE pounds. You can do that, right? You've done it before! Once you meet that goal, be proud of yourself!! Then set a new goal of five more pounds.

Spring is coming soon and it'll be wonderful weather and all you'll want to do is be outside with your daughter - playing and walking etc. And it'll be so easy to lose weight. I cant WAIT for Spring!! Use that as a goal - what can you accomplish between now and then? How much better can you make yourself feel mentally and physically between now and then? Don't wait for tomorrow. Start NOW. Make one choice right NOW that will help you be healthier today.

Sorry to write a novel, but I feel for you - I've been where you've been and I want you to succeed so bad! You can do this!

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