Tuesday, January 08, 2013
I am watching the biggest loser since I missed the first few episodes. I love the fact that they are trying to help these kids this season. It breaks my heart to see them overweight because I was were they are. I don't want to see my daughter like that, like I was. It also brought my own feelings out and made me think about my child hood and why I can't seem to think I can lose this weight. I feel like a failure. I have failed at everything in life so this is no different. I feel like I am not good enough for anyone including myself. My daughter calls me fat and it breaks my heart. I'm not sure if she is joking or telling the truth since she is only 4 but either way it breaks my heart. I know I can lose the weight. I lost 29 pds and then gained most of it back. I know I can get there. But I feel like I will fail. That is what is holding me back. Something inside me tells me there is no point because I will fail. How do I change that feeling? I wanted to fun a 5k this spring but I'm not sure if that is going to happen now.