Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.
LOSTMD
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 22,059
SparkPoints
 

Tues 8 Jan funny

Tuesday, January 08, 2013


Yes I know it is late but I wonder if this will work for all cookies?

Christmas Cookie Rules

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free also.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate., We all know how calories like to CLING.

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It is a rule!

emoticon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v CAYCESMOM
    I give a way a lot of cookies, but you are right, my husband and daughter and 2 dogs benefit as well!!

    The funny thing is, I really don't have control, that's why I didn't really eat any, one leads to many more typically. I'm still working on moderation emoticon
    1232 days ago
  • v LOSTMD
    ronniehuey: sadly I think all the Christmas cookies are long gone.

    BDRFLI: I will have to see about oreos..hmmmm

    Caycesmom: you have a lot of control if you only ate cookies on one day, unless you have a menagerie (of the 2 as well as the 4 legged kind) and almost as soon as any cookies are done most have gone *poof*
    emoticon
    1233 days ago
  • v CAYCESMOM
    Oh my gosh!! I LOVE this post!! I baked 15 different kinds of cookies for Christmas, plus assorted candies, etc. That is SO funny!! I only ate cookies on one day though, but I'm SO glad to know that most of the calories didn't count!!!

    Thanks for a good laugh!
    emoticon
    1233 days ago
  • v MIRFA71
    Hahahah.. too funny.
    1233 days ago
  • v WALLAHALLA
    works for me emoticon
    1233 days ago
  • v EVERGREENE
    Now if I could just get a set of rules for Oreos! :)
    1233 days ago
  • v DJA856
    Too funny! Love the ideas!
    1233 days ago
  • v RONNIEHUEY
    Wheres the cookies?I want to start my Christmas cookie diet right now emoticon
    1233 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by LOSTMD