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    NIKKICOLE83   18,235
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****back in the belly of the beast. RAAHHH****

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Tuesday, January 08, 2013

That was me just growling at you. Sorry I am a bit dramatic.

I just did what all therapists tell all their junkies to avoid doing. STAY AWAY FROM THE STIMULANT! REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE SOURCE OF YOUR ADDICTION. Yeah, I didn't do that. In fact, I just made any attempt at reaching my goal and staying there, more difficult.

I got a part-time job at Red Lobster.

Derrell and I discovered not too long ago that our upcoming wedding is IMMENSELY over-budget. We also reminded ourselves that while we have lovely parents, we have broke parents, and we will be covering the majority of the wedding costs ourselves. Unwilling to completely run up our credit or run out our savings, we both agreed to get part-time jobs. He is helping out at his parent's business and I went to the only place I knew would accept me: Red Lobster.

See I began working there as a sophomore in college and stayed for 8 1/2 years even as I gew with mu current company. I couldn't get away from the fast money. I was fat way before I began working there, I just got fatter while there, although I can easily admit it had nothing to do with eating their food because I didn't eat it often, probably a couple of times a month. So in reality, my fear in working there isn't that I am going to sneak in the back and take shots of scampi butter, but that I will be so worn out from two jobs that i will make exuses not to workout. And I will slowly start sipping on things other than water and tea. And an occasional cup of chowder with a Cheddar Bay biscuit floater may make its way to my waistline. Though I may not eat much there, I am afraid that my car will lead me to a drive-thru after the late nights because I wont have the discipline to go home and prepare something healthy. Those are my fears and I am a food addict, plain and simple.

Every night I have come prepared with my water bottle and a healthy snack in my coat pocket. I have been good thus far. THere was a weekend night that I scarfed (literally, I wasn't even chewing, just swallowing) a biscuit. It was ridiculous. The damn thing was fresh and hot out of the oven and i snapped forgetting the heat index on those little things and burned the back of my danggone throat and I kept on freakin chewing! Last night I was good until one of the girls offered to split an order of fries and then a cookie. I didn't even hesitate. I am a food junkie and I am in a back alley trying to score.

So I need to figure out how to curb this and get out of my own head. I need to figure out how to take this opportunity but not allow it to derail me. I think part of it comes in making sure I stay busy when there and that I eat a hearty snack before I arrive. I am also going to have to ensure that I put in crazy good workouts the other 4-5 days of the week. That should be easy because my best freind and my sister are needing my help right now. Plus, I have a dress fitting in a week and a trip to LA in a month in a half that I want to look good for. I have a goal of being 214 by 02/14 as well. I need the encouragement folks! Make me believe!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOMOEXCUSES13 1/9/2013 11:30AM

    You WILL be okay! You can do this! You already are taking the right steps by bringing the healthy snacks with you. Next time someone offers to share "bad" food with you...offer to share your "good" food with them instead. We're here for you so when ya need us...reach out! xoxoxoxoxoxxoo

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JOANNHUNT 1/9/2013 10:03AM

    We can't make you believe, but we can be there to listen to you and help guide you. You have to make yourself believe and want to believe it. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOMMY445 1/9/2013 9:38AM

    you can do this! you are worth it! all the best in 2013! have a terrific day!

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GRASSHOPR 1/9/2013 8:59AM

  My suggestion would be a trick I learned in Weight Watchers many, many years ago. Chew a piece of mint flavored gum. I do this while cooking dinner for my family because no one wants to put food in there mouth when there is that fresh mint taste in there....plus it makes the food taste yucky.

Not sure if waitresses are allowed to chew gum or not but I know this is definitely a trick that works for me. Good Luck!

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DJSHIP46 1/9/2013 8:40AM

    The key to your success is within you! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

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WALLINMW 1/9/2013 8:34AM

  You can do it! Good luck!

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TINY67 1/9/2013 8:28AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 1/9/2013 8:05AM

    Oh, you SO have this. You can do it. You will work at RL or "scarf" a biscuit and barely remember that biscuit in 6 months, but you WILL remember your wedding for the rest of your life. Use working AS a workout. Make an extra trip to the tables, Do table clean up. There are (I am sure), a Million things you could do while there to fit in a workout. I know money is tight, but I heard that Fitbit is a great tracker, you might want to think about that??? (just a thought). YOU SO CAN DO THIS!!

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BECKYANNE1 1/9/2013 7:52AM

    emoticon Stop and think before you grab. I know, easier said than done, but it's the mindless eating that will get you into trouble. Good Luck!

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BESSHAILE 1/9/2013 7:32AM

    I know I know I know where you are right now. Especially with the biscuit scarfing. and the too tired. Oh god I know what you're up against.

It's time now to make a daily - or twice daily - ritual out of going deep inside and doing your thing: Prayer or meditation or daydreaming. Whatever you call it, how ever it works for you - it's time to ask for higher help and to use all that fantastic brainpower you've got to visualize, imagine, see, and know that you will be 214 on 2/14.

I think this is not a step back - it's a bold step into the future for you. I think you can do it.

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SANDYCRANE 1/9/2013 7:15AM

    The only thing I an think of it to watch all the people that you are serving. Look at how much they are eating or overeating and observe how they look. That usually motivates me to stay on track.

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MIMIDOT 1/9/2013 6:39AM

    You can do it! Good luck!

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PENOWOK 1/9/2013 6:35AM

    I guess my first thought is perhaps you can look for a different position...didn't you get a business degree?? Maybe you could do taxes... The next thought was to tell your co-workers about how much weight you have lost and that you need to have healthy snacks/food and elicit support form them. Can you keep a healthy snack, like walnuts or almonds close by so when you are tempted, you can pop one or two in your mouth?? This is really important and YOU are worth it! We are behind you 100%! You CAN do it!

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LIFETIMER54 1/9/2013 6:20AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KBRADFORD88 1/9/2013 6:00AM

    Is the extra money worth this? And how long do you have to stay there? Do you have an end date? I'm just thinking no one would expect an alcoholic to work in a bar. I know you can do this. The energy you use may not be worth it. Good luck.

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MARYBETH4884 1/9/2013 5:52AM

    Focus on your purpose! The wedding! It won't make you feel better to pay for a wedding you cannot enjoy because your dress is toooo tight! Keep plenty of healthy snacks with you more heathy snacks is better than more junk! Good luck!

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TRYINGHARD54 1/9/2013 5:48AM

    you will do great. to bad you have to put yourself in that temptation..

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NCSUE0514 1/9/2013 4:59AM

    emoticon

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LRSILVER 1/9/2013 4:45AM

    You can do it. Plan to eat before work. Make dinner for after. Track everything. You are going to news a plan to meet your goals

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LRSILVER 1/9/2013 4:44AM

    Good luck.

Comment edited on: 1/9/2013 4:45:36 AM

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LRSILVER 1/9/2013 4:44AM

    You can do it. Plan to eat before work. Make dinner for after. Track everything. You are going to need a plan to meet your goals

Comment edited on: 1/9/2013 4:44:37 AM

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KPETSCHE 1/9/2013 2:00AM

    Wow!! Nikki - look at all the help you have right here! You're doing a great thing by getting that additional job to help fund your wedding. Lots of people have given you very good advice to try to keep the munchies at bay while working. It'll be tough but you CAN DO IT!!!! Keep telling yourself that! Use that crock pot or make a pot of soup so you don't have to do much for food when you get home.
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NASFKAB 1/9/2013 1:40AM

  good luck all the best you have to do it

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SONYALATRECE 1/8/2013 11:45PM

    Okay. Nasty thought, but try it anyway...
Think about the proposed food you plan to eat paired with something really disgusting...(I.e. steak on top of a dirty trashcan lid, etc.)

Hope this helps...

Let me know.
Sonya

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RESTORETOSANITY 1/8/2013 5:33PM

  I also work an additional side job (paying down some debt). With lots of young people who seem to be able to eat whatever, and corporate who puts out junk food on a regular to keep them fueled, I just keep remembering what another food addict told me..."That's not your food." Also, eventually I came to believe some of that stuff just wasn't food at all, LOL. Planning is essential, as you've found. So is REST. But you can do it!

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BEATRIZ269 1/8/2013 5:09PM

    Niki I can feel the struggle. Just keep that number in mind. 214, 214. Maybe putting it in front of the monitor or order pad, somewhere where you will see it all the time will reinforce what your ultimate goal. I know that you can build on your current success and work this out. emoticon emoticon

Thank you for sharing

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NIKKICOLE83 1/8/2013 3:28PM

    I think in Thursday I am going to go into my shift with the intention of being the most helpful crewmember ever. I am going to stay busy and increase my steps by helping other people and cleaning up random stuff. I also think I am going to crockpot meals on the nights I have to work so it is easy when I get home.

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PURPLE180 1/8/2013 3:07PM

    okay...just reading this blog made me want one of those cheddar biscuits so bad emoticon *drinks water to fight the temptation to grab something tasty*. Nikki, I know you will do well with this, I mean look at how far you have come and you already have everything laid out, you have a good plan and when all else fails just keep thinking of 214 by 2-14 (great idea by the way). Try to stay hydrated and if you can chew a piece of gum or a mint to help curb those temptations while at work. Good luck and best wishes to you but I know you will do GREAT. emoticon emoticon

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ENDERLI 1/8/2013 2:58PM

    Lawdy girl...I don't know what to say. The worst part is it's free food...isn't it? So that would help the budget, but not the waist line. Dang it!
Empower yourself.....make a plan to indulge(in moderation) on a certain day(end of the week maybe?)....I think that is the only way for me. If I am disciplined and structure my world around me, meal planning and sticking with it...telling myself( on Sat, when I go out with my friends I shoot for a goal...I will have X with this, and Y with that, and a glass of wine. THen when i get there, I order it, and chew every single bite 15 times.
I think if you try to NEVER eat what you love there...it will backfire in the long run. Bring the snacks...be good, but plan a "indulge in moderation day"
You are doing such a great job, I would hate for this to be selfdefeating....but you forget how STRONG you are...and how AWESOMESAUCE you are. You got this I bet, without the "indulgent day!"
Find a plan & stick to it.
*hugs*
xo

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MERRY_XMAS 1/8/2013 2:57PM

    I would plan to eat something there once or twice per week, like biscuits or something. If you do it let's say on Monday and Thursday it can keep you from doing it during the other days. I found this link. It may help you in your planning.
http://caloriecount.ab
out.com/cc/search2.php?searchpr
o=red+lobster

Plus don't forget that if you do another job maybe you should increase your calories range a bit so you won't feel hungry and you'll have the energy you need.

As for the workouts, working in 2 jobs is a workout, too. Don't tire yourself too much cos this may lead to overeating.

To sum up, don't forget to rest and if you eat with moderation even some biscuits won't derail you emoticon

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LEB0401 1/8/2013 2:50PM

    What about wearing a pedometer at work so you're motivated to move more? You may find yourself taking the long way back to the kitchen to reach your mileage goals.

If I were you, I would make 4 or 5 dishes on my day off so I would have dinner already prepared. The last thing you want to do when you've been on your feet smelling cooking food all day is to stand in front of a stove and make dinner.

Stay away from the biscuits!!!

**PS... I'm so impressed that you're doing this to raise wedding funds. So many people out there would rely on money from others, or go get a crazy expensive loan, etc. But you guys are putting in the work to get what you want!! I foresee a healthy marriage in your future :)

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EUEK098 1/8/2013 2:33PM

    After reading the first and second paragraph, first thought is pack your own food, or be plan exactly what you're going to eat, working in the food industry can be so daunting.
Just keep your head in the game, remember why you're part timing, especially when you're worn out. Every time you see temptation, count all the pounds you've destroyed, and don't want to regain. Try your best Nikki.

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CJADERUN 1/8/2013 2:30PM

    This might be terrible advice, but this is what I would do if I were in your shoes:

Every time I looked at the food, I would tell myself how absolutely disgusting, revolting, awful it is. I mean, it's swimming in grease/butter/fat, and LOADS of salt. If I tried to eat that much salt simply by the spoonful that would be enough to vomit.

Etc. I would just try to completely turn myself off from it. And it's disheartening, because I know you really enjoy the food there, but desperate times calls for desperate measures.

I mean, really, it's sucking it up and telling yourself, "No." But nobody wants to hear that. Don't admit defeat to yourself--are you saying you're not stronger than "you"? Who's stronger, the girl who lifts and runs or the girl who eats?

Maybe you could also have an extrinsic motivational plan. For every day you're good, put aside $5 (or something) not for the wedding, but for yourself. Or maybe for yourself for the wedding, like earrings, or something else you don't have.

That's all I've got for now, but I'll think on it some more. Best of luck--I know you can do this!

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BETTER_LUCK 1/8/2013 2:25PM

    Well, the only two things I can think of is putting your favorite thin picture in your wallet or the background of your phone, and chewing peppermint gum. I read somewhere peppermint curbs cravings, and having gum in your mouth gives you that half-second to consider what you're about to wolf down.

While being full and having healthy alternatives may be helpful, my experience in such situations is that one ends up eating both the healthy snack AND the more desirable calorie bomb. The only solution may be portion control; have a bite of the cookie, throw the rest away and move on.

Also, consider that working two jobs will tire you out for a reason: you're going to be on the move a lot more too. You've got this far, I don't think a job is going to derail you. Believe in yourself, believe in your own dedication, and just breathe!

Good luck!

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REDVELVET21 1/8/2013 1:57PM

    You can do it stay motivated, you will be fine!!!

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SLIMMERJESSE 1/8/2013 1:29PM

    OMG, RL has always been one of my faves. Especially during their Endless Shrimp promotion period. If I worked there, I'd be in big
trouble. Good luck.

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MYOWNHERO 1/8/2013 1:29PM

    You can do it! Just think of how active you are being. No vegging on the couch for you! I think it's great to pay for your wedding this way. Sometimes when I walk past my local bakery I say to myself "good thing you don't let donuts rule your life any more"

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SHRINKING_SARA 1/8/2013 1:19PM

    That's going to take A LOT of willpower. Put a picture of you in your dress in your phone or pocket -- then whip it out the next time someone asks if you want fries. Stay strong, but those damn biscuits get us all!

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ARCHIMEDESII 1/8/2013 1:08PM

    I agree. if you find that the job IS interfering with your goals, then you should leave the job.

One thing you might do as a "reminder" of where you're working is this. Get a piece of paper and write down the calorie count of every biscuit and cookie. the sticker shock might make you rethinking grabbing a biscuit. When I wasn't watching what I ate, I wouldn't think twice about having an Au Bon Pan pecan bun for a snack. When I decided I needed to lose weight and starting paying closer attention to what I was eating, I looked up the calories in one of those pecan rolls. Guess what... 800+ calories !!! Mind you, I might eat one 2-3 times a week ! What else did I eat ? Muffins. Did you know that one of their muffins can have 500+ calories ??

Needless to say, knowing what the calorie count of those items were made me think twice about eating them.

So, why not try that ? Get a full listing of the calorie counts of each of the items you're most likely to snack on. Then put that list somewhere you can see it. That may help you rethink snacking at work.

Good luck !! Many congratulations on your upcoming wedding.







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BOGUSANNIE 1/8/2013 12:58PM

    The only thing I would eat at Red Lobster would be those YUMMY biscuits....OMG...I would be 500 pounds within 6 months!! LOL

Good for you for being prepared! Just don't be afraid to leave the job if it starts to interfere with your overall LIFE goals!

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SEATTLE58 1/8/2013 12:56PM

    emoticon Sweets! Just keep your dress fitting in mind and your wedding too, and you'll be passing by all that luscious food! I know, I shouldn't even say that word! Luscious! There are ways, yes there are. Pack a lunch for your way home or at least a healthy granola bar or an apple, or string cheese, etc. A plan will do it! I have faith in you!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/8/2013 12:57:18 PM

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MISSB8604 1/8/2013 12:45PM

    You can do it girl, I have every bit of faith in you!

And dang those biscuits are good...sigh...

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