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    NIKKICOLE83   18,235
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****back in the belly of the beast. RAAHHH****

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Tuesday, January 08, 2013

That was me just growling at you. Sorry I am a bit dramatic.

I just did what all therapists tell all their junkies to avoid doing. STAY AWAY FROM THE STIMULANT! REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE SOURCE OF YOUR ADDICTION. Yeah, I didn't do that. In fact, I just made any attempt at reaching my goal and staying there, more difficult.

I got a part-time job at Red Lobster.

Derrell and I discovered not too long ago that our upcoming wedding is IMMENSELY over-budget. We also reminded ourselves that while we have lovely parents, we have broke parents, and we will be covering the majority of the wedding costs ourselves. Unwilling to completely run up our credit or run out our savings, we both agreed to get part-time jobs. He is helping out at his parent's business and I went to the only place I knew would accept me: Red Lobster.

See I began working there as a sophomore in college and stayed for 8 1/2 years even as I gew with mu current company. I couldn't get away from the fast money. I was fat way before I began working there, I just got fatter while there, although I can easily admit it had nothing to do with eating their food because I didn't eat it often, probably a couple of times a month. So in reality, my fear in working there isn't that I am going to sneak in the back and take shots of scampi butter, but that I will be so worn out from two jobs that i will make exuses not to workout. And I will slowly start sipping on things other than water and tea. And an occasional cup of chowder with a Cheddar Bay biscuit floater may make its way to my waistline. Though I may not eat much there, I am afraid that my car will lead me to a drive-thru after the late nights because I wont have the discipline to go home and prepare something healthy. Those are my fears and I am a food addict, plain and simple.

Every night I have come prepared with my water bottle and a healthy snack in my coat pocket. I have been good thus far. THere was a weekend night that I scarfed (literally, I wasn't even chewing, just swallowing) a biscuit. It was ridiculous. The damn thing was fresh and hot out of the oven and i snapped forgetting the heat index on those little things and burned the back of my danggone throat and I kept on freakin chewing! Last night I was good until one of the girls offered to split an order of fries and then a cookie. I didn't even hesitate. I am a food junkie and I am in a back alley trying to score.

So I need to figure out how to curb this and get out of my own head. I need to figure out how to take this opportunity but not allow it to derail me. I think part of it comes in making sure I stay busy when there and that I eat a hearty snack before I arrive. I am also going to have to ensure that I put in crazy good workouts the other 4-5 days of the week. That should be easy because my best freind and my sister are needing my help right now. Plus, I have a dress fitting in a week and a trip to LA in a month in a half that I want to look good for. I have a goal of being 214 by 02/14 as well. I need the encouragement folks! Make me believe!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KWEEKWEK 1/31/2013 7:37PM

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EFFRAYECHILDE 1/20/2013 9:45AM

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ALEXESQ33 1/16/2013 1:14PM

    I am also a (food) junkie and bartend at a family "pub" with cheesy burgers and fried yummy (crack) foods!!!
Best thing I try to do is CONSTANTLY have a glass of ice water with a splash of cranberry juice and limes in it and just continuouly CHUG it to the point that my tummy is so full of water I can't fit anything else in!
You can do it- good luck!! And congrats on your wedding - mine is in March yay!!!

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SERASARA 1/15/2013 8:46PM

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FITMARTI 1/15/2013 6:13PM

    Make a rule.....before you put a bite of anything in your mouth....you must drink at least 12 oz of water

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LEAELLEN07 1/15/2013 3:33PM

    Can you pack a lunch of healthy treats to take to work with you? That way when you're hungry or being tempted, you can grab something you know is good for you.
Good Luck!!

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YMWONG22 1/15/2013 12:15AM

  You had the awareness to admit you had this weakness and problem with food. That is a good beginning.
You already have a pretty good idea and plan on how to stay on track.
I think what you really need is some support, encouragement, cheering on and motivation from people in SP and friends around you.
Stay focused on your goal and believe in yourself. You can do it.
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MANILUS 1/13/2013 3:09AM

    Force yourself to do what is right, get your workouts in and use portion control. There is nothing wrong with eating any kind of food, just eat in portion. Good luck and you can do it!

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VOLLEYGIRL77 1/12/2013 6:39PM

    You can do it! Just stay positive and always know we're all here for you! Don't stress and have fun planning your wedding !

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JIBBIE49 1/12/2013 8:24AM

    Wonderful to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail. What an honor. emoticon

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L1ZB3TH354 1/12/2013 1:10AM

    I had the same idea as PATRICIAANN46~a picture of yourself in your wedding dress. That should be your inspiration to cut out excess calories. One of the biggest days of your life is coming up. You want to look your most beautiful on that day. Good luck!

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MJREIMERS 1/11/2013 9:47PM

    You know that I believe in you!!! Drink LOTS of water and yes, make sure you eat healthy before you go to work. If it helps, keep a picture of your wedding dress, Derrell, the old you, or whatever will prevent you from making your goal.

I I love those darn biscuits, but when I log those calories, I'm not sure that it's "true love." emoticon Carry a list of goals, short term and long term to glance at.

You CAN DO THIS! Just keep thinking how gorgeous you are going to look in that wedding dress and how many tissues you will have to stuff in your bra for Derrell during your wedding ceremony! One look at beautiful you and he will be a mess! A good mess, but still a mess! emoticon

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LILSHINE 1/11/2013 5:30PM

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Hey keep being your positive, motivating self. Do a bit of self talking to keep you encouraged. Keep those goals on your mind and I'm sure you'll be able to get over these temptations.

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KARENLEIGH32 1/11/2013 3:34PM

    You can do it, you know what your weakness is an the goal you have set for yourself. Just ask yourself do I want to stay over weight and not look my best on my wedding day!!

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LADYJAY714 1/11/2013 2:41AM

    Mind over matter! You can do it! Hang your dress up where you can see it to motivate you! emoticon

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PCASEY7 1/11/2013 12:01AM

    It will be tough but you can do this! Keep the motivation high, keep seeing those wedding dress fittings, etc.

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1DERLAND14 1/10/2013 10:58PM

    Having a plan is key! I KNOW you can do it! Stay focused and keep pushing! One biscuit won't kill you as we both know. :) One every night...that's another thing :P

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SUGAR0814 1/10/2013 3:32PM

    emoticon stay focused on your goal!

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NEWMOM20121 1/10/2013 8:31AM

    You can do it.

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BLUEJEAN99 1/10/2013 1:59AM

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AMANDACOETZER 1/10/2013 12:18AM

    Good luck. I believe you will overcome!

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JUSGETTENBY42 1/9/2013 11:26PM

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SUSIEMT 1/9/2013 10:06PM

    You can do it! I on the other hand would not be able to pass up those biscuits. Good luck if it becomes to much drop something from the wedding. You are to important!

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NEWTINK 1/9/2013 9:59PM

    You can do this ... fight through and remember how good you will look in that dress ... Congrats on your upcoming wedding and trip ... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1MYSTERY_LADY 1/9/2013 9:32PM

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HEARTS116 1/9/2013 9:19PM

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REGILIEH 1/9/2013 9:13PM

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ROCKYCPA 1/9/2013 8:26PM

    You can do it!

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CHARTHESTAR 1/9/2013 8:23PM

    let your willpower win!

Red Lobster does have some healthy items too don't they?
Just remember.... how you want that wedding dress to feel on the big day!

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MARYJEANSL 1/9/2013 8:14PM

  You CAN do this - and you are already on the right track - bring water, bring healthy snacks - and make sure you do like the healthy snacks. That way, when someone offers you temptation (and boy, do I know temptation!), you will have an alternative that you like ready and waiting. Good luck!!

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GOOSIEMOON 1/9/2013 7:59PM

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PATRICIAANN46 1/9/2013 6:14PM

  You listed some very good reasons NOT to go off track. I would put them on a card and carry them with me at all times. When you are tempted, pull out the card. Have a picture of your wedding dress on it too. Whatever works.......... emoticon

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JAMER123 1/9/2013 5:31PM

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Hang in there and you WILL reach your goal! I have faith in you especially when you are looking forward to a really big occasion! Best wishes to you!!

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ALIDOSHA 1/9/2013 5:19PM

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WALKSINLIGHT 1/9/2013 4:26PM

    I am all hyped up on losing just a pound or 2 (am already at goal and working real hard on maintaining) because it is my granddaughters wedding in England in March - want to look beautiful for her (and show myself off) - so if that is getting me hyped, how much more you must be hyped and ready to stick with it when it is your own wedding. I set myself of reaching my goal by the time that my oral surgery was complete (see blog) and I did it .. so I KNOW that you can do it for your wedding and you are going to be so beautiful and so proud of yourself.
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Hang in there and make us ALL proud - we want photos, before and after and wedding day !
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SHOAPIE 1/9/2013 4:16PM

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DIANNEMT 1/9/2013 4:06PM

    This is going to be hard but YOU CAN DO IT.

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OAKBORN 1/9/2013 3:23PM

    emoticon You will get yourself retrained, and you will slip, but the journey just waits patiently for you to come back to it. Just don't beat yourself up over it.

I am 4.3 years into maintenance and still have those days!!

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NEWCHINELO 1/9/2013 2:19PM

    Just knowing that you have a problem is a step ahead and I know you can beat that demon

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CAMAEL100 1/9/2013 2:17PM

    You can do it!! Think of the dress! And planning is the key. Have a healthy snack before you get there and try to have some healthy options prepared in advance so they won't take much preparation.

Best of luck!

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KTTAYLOR21 1/9/2013 2:16PM

    Your crock pot idea is great. Having food ready when you get home will make going straight home all the more easier. Also by staying super busy, maybe you won't have time to snack.

You got this!!

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JAMARIEHICKEY 1/9/2013 2:09PM

    You can do this!! I think your plan of a hearty snack will help and keep something healthy in your purse (I've always got a baggie of almonds in mine). Remember...the crockpot is your friend or even healthy leftovers are better than the drive thru! emoticon

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LISAN0415 1/9/2013 1:49PM

    I think my plan would be to eat a big healthy meal or snack before going there and keep some healthy snacks with me in my purse like the Popped rice cakes (35 calories) Fiber one 90 calorie bars, a serving of almonds... things like that

but the best thing I do before being presented with temptation is eat lot sof veggies, they take a while to digest, are filling and I am less likely to overindulge.

Good luck!

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IAMAGEMLOVER 1/9/2013 12:51PM

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CLAYARTIST 1/9/2013 12:34PM

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MRSBLAK27 1/9/2013 12:32PM

  I say what you've been doing is great, just add a few elements like a picture of your before, a pic of your dress or an outfit that you sho nough look & felt good in...

visuals may help you to stay focused.


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CAKEMAKERMOM 1/9/2013 12:27PM

    I worked at McDonald's and never gained weight from it, but I also started disliking it so much that I can hardly eat there anymore, I actually started liking BK from working at McD's.

I second the pedometer thing. Then you can see how much you're actually "working out" at your jobs. I like my FitBit, it tells me when I'm active and then I can see how much I should be eating for the activity level I have the week.

Treat the restaurant food as a treat and not something to have every day. Pack your meals and stick to those as much as possible.

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ALIHIKES 1/9/2013 12:16PM

    Wow that is a challenge. Like you, my temptation to eat easy drive through options increases exponentially when I am tired. It DOES help to keep easy available healthy snacks, and to focus on your overall big goal. But if you DO have an occasional lapse -- and all of us do -- just get right back on track with your health habits.
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BLUE42DOWN 1/9/2013 12:15PM

    A silly thing that might help some is to practice saying "No, thank you" and putting meaning into it. You can stick to those simple words, no explanation, no excuses. Imagine yourself in the situation with a coworker offering food, staying in control and saying "No, thank you" and that being gracefully accepted.

If they would help, let those coworkers who tend to offer food know that you need help because you won't always be able to say no even if you want and need to. Those who won't sabotage you may be your best allies while there. (Those who would sabotage you? Well, it's good to know who your "enemies" are in a battle like this and once you know you can make special plans to battle their temptations.)

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FIRECOM 1/9/2013 12:05PM

    Living proof that we need to do whatever it takes to get where you are going.

Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

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