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I'm tired of being a grown up.

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

I'm tired of being a grown up.

My 92-year-old grandfather (my mom's step-father) is in congestive heart failure, and has refused food since Thursday. He has refused water and ice chips since Sunday. We keep being told it's a matter of hours - not days. The "hours not days" has gone over into 100+ hours of bedside vigil.

The call came Thursday night from his part-time home helper. I was the only family she could get ahold of. I dropped everything and drove down to be at his side and spent all night trying to get even one of his six kids there.

My mom was in Maui, on the last day of her vacation. I did talk to her, but she couldn't get there any faster than she was already scheduled. Her brother lives in Wyoming and was out hunting. He headed down as soon as he got the message when he got back into cell range. Of my grandfather's four natural children, only the paraplegic daughter living in California bothered to rush out to make it to his side. Unfortunately, given her remote location, "rushing" meant 9pm Friday night was the earliest she could possibly arrive, and given the difficulties presented by her wheelchair, she required special arrangements. They all made it there as fast as they could.

His three natural sons - one of them called Friday morning saying he'd talked to his brothers. The other two haven't called the house or said anything to their sister, me, my brother or my mom - let alone shown up to be at their father's bedside. They all three live in the Denver area, all three have cell phones and could have called. None of them is more than two hours drive away from their father's side, and they haven't made the trip.

It shouldn't have been me and my brother there alone to watch him the night we thought he would pass. At least one person of his own blood should have been there. I'm so angry at my uncles I could spit.

I don't want to be a grown up anymore.

For more on my grandfather, see my blog from Nov 15.

He's the one in the weelchair on the end - wearing a tan jacket and highwater pants.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    He didn't really want anyone else besides you and your brother there! So he had a greater kinship with you and your brother than all those other relatives. Be comforted! He waited till all those relatives were too busy to get there! Uncanny! He could have checked out any time in the last month.

    My father waited till his wife had gone home to die, knowing she would freak out. My brother waited till I got there to die. So did my father. These are not accidents.

    Love you to and peace!

    1894 days ago
    He passed this afternoon. It was peaceful.
    1894 days ago
  • 3016DEBRA
    emoticon Life can be difficult. He would appreciate your time I'm sure. emoticon
    1894 days ago
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