Well today was my 3 month check up with my psychiatrist for my mental health meds. I have to admit that previous statement makes me sound like a nut job, lol. But I'm slowly getting better. Anyway, he asked me about my new years resolutions and I thought about how I never posted them here. They're simple. I want to lose weight (obvious), get off the meds, and hopefully get pregnant or at least start trying, and get the bankruptcy done so I can breathe again. Well, after visiting with him, he wants me to stay at the level I'm at for at least 3 more months before evaluating if I can start weaning off or not since you can't quit that stuff cold turkey. I tried, not completely on purpose, just ran out and had to wait until payday to get refills and things didn't go well, and I admitted that to him and got in a little bit of trouble. Said that not only did I make myself sick doing that, I messed with my moods, which I did. So I need to be more vigilant on watching how low I'm getting and budgeting accordingly. Anyway, that means that I am not allowed to try to get pregnant for at least another 3 months. Am I disappointed? Yes. Very. But, I'm reminding myself that motherhood, while it is a beautiful thing and very rewarding, is extremely stressful and difficult and I need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally ready for that. Part of that is listening to my doctor because he knows better than I and he thinks I'm not ready just yet. That's okay. Healing takes time. I'm trying to remember that this minor setback gives me time to get my act even more together. Yesterday I did fantastic. I need to do it over and over again the rest of my life. I have to get my health in gear before I'm ready to be a mom. So while I am disappointed, I know it's not the end of the road. It's just a bump. So, on to more healing :) www.youtube.com/watch?v=
tfgOnLmGLb8