Vanilla Ice got sued mega big time for sampling Queen + Bowie's beats. He tweaked them only slightly and expected no one to notice. These days, people are noticing little changes in me before I do. 50 lbs is a lot. 50 lbs is a small child, a bunch of bags of flour, a trip up the stairs with both arms full of groceries. It's significant whether my self-deprecating sensibilities wish to admit/accept this or not. I'm doing a lot right. I don't need an overhaul. I need to TWEAK it- I need sample what I'm already doing, remix and make it my own.
I have only gone for one run since the beginning of this year.
I have gone for one great run already this year.
I don't have any energy.
I am prioritizing my day to include things that are absoultely neccessary.
I can't do anything right.
There are several things I can improve upon to make my life easier and more productive.
I am indeed under pressure. I've made semi-public declarations about my goals for 2013, and now wish that I hadn't. I'm glad the accountability is there, but it feels icky right now.
I'm motivating those around me- people tell me this left and right.
"YOUR FACE! Look how far you've come!"
These are the praises I've been longing to hear, and now they cut like a knife.
"Dumbdumb I haven't lost any weight in like... 2 months. I'm exactly the same size. Your EYES are smaller. Stupid face."
These people are being nice, and I'm being an aye-whole to myself and to them silently.
I want so badly for this to be my year. I don't wanna lump it all up. (Adventure Time reference- obsessssssed I am!!!!)
I think the long and short is that this is the first legitimate plateau I have ever experienced. I can ALWAYS trace a lack of weight loss back to something I'm actively doing to sabotage myself. This time is different. I'm doing super well about 80% of the time. I'm lacking in motivation and energy to work out. That's what's going to change my life, my body, and everything that comes with it. Energy is a head game.
Physically, I'm allowed to be tired- I'm balancing marriage/friendships/full-time nursing job/part-time clinical instructing position/full-time grad student status/life/healthy eating/AND EXERCISE. My days aren't magically going to get longer, although in Feb going back to days will make it a little easier to commit to a standard schedule. And that'll be nice. However, wasting 3 weeks in schedule limbo is not an option. Change. Starts. Now.
Okay- reframing your thinking is fabulous. What are you going to DO about it?
*Commit to the goals you set in your first blog of the year. They were bite-size, attainable little ole' things.
You are asking 10 minutes of yourself daily. GOYAAM. Just do it. That's all you. There are no extrinsic motivators to getting your ass out of bed. Just get up and go.
You are surrounded by computers, all day and all night. Your phone has an SP app, it takes approx. 11 seconds to log in and track all the good work you're doing. Earn your streaks, track your success. Amaze yo'self.
*You already hit reset everyday- install a REMIX button.
Quit the negative self-talk. REMIX all negatives into a positive. Look at it in a different light. What are you DOING- what can you do BETTER?
Get your head in the game, and your body will follow.