Monday, January 07, 2013
My friend Cate is on the biggest loser. I'm so inspired by her. I need to do a little reflecting tho.
I was on this program before and I lost 60 lbs. But I didn't keep it off. And Im angry that I didnt. But I didnt do it for me before. I did it for other people. So once the need to impress was gone I was back to my old binge eating ways. Things just have to change. I have to want this. And I know I do of course I do I very over weight, and it makes me incredibly unhappy. But i think differently about my weight then I think I should. I think well i need to look better for my soon to be husband. And I need to compete with my older sister. And look at all these people around me who are losing weight, I need to be like them. I need to want this is a different way. Im not sure how to go about changing mentally. I need to tackle my mental thoughts on weight this time as well as the physical aspect. Then I think I will keep the change. But i need help. What can I do?