Monday, January 07, 2013
Some of my family came to visit this weekend that I haven't seen in almost 16 years...I had not seen my sister since she was 9 years old and she's 33 now. She had driven out to California to retrieve my mother and her husband (my stepfather, her dad) because he had been diagnosed with Stage 4 brain and lung cancer. My mom has extreme anxiety issues and cant drive so sister thought it would be best for them to move closer to her in Tennessee. On the way there they decided to stop to see me and clear up some family issues we have since he may not have a chance to do it again. End result...I feel like a new person. My biggest hang up in life was a feeling of abandonment and that I was never good enough for anyone or anything. After talking to my mom I found out she didn't abandon me, the state gave her no choice but to turn me over to my dad. Unlike today where the system is over burdened and they try everything to keep a family together, in the 80's they just gave you to the next best option. I also got a chance to forgive her and my stepdad for my crappy childhood.
I know things inside won't change overnight but I already feel so much better than I did before. AND during all of this I managed to keep all my Fast Break goals. Now food choices haven't been the best but I'm getting there and it's a BL season so I have tons of inspiration.