Last night I reached one of those "fed up, had enough" states of mind. Admittedly, sometimes I do more thinking and planning than taking action.
I wasn't feeling well physically and since my sister passed away in Oct. 2011 at only age 65 from cancer, my own state of health is often on my mind. I also hated what I saw in the mirror. I've felt for a while that my energy level has been steadily decreasing. I took a vacation from "dieting" and from the scale for many months and was okay with doing that at the time. I realize now that I also took a vacation from the best of health and vitality too. I was in shock once I finally got on the scale to see that I had gained back 26 lbs. since last summer. I had gotten to 175 last July and Sunday morning the scale read 201.6. My highest weight earlier in 2012 was 195, so the numbers went in the wrong direction despite my earlier success. It shouldn't have been a shock that I put on that much because I already knew my 14's were snug when I had been fitting comfortably in a 12 last July.
It hurts to admit all of this, but I have to in order to go forward. The truth hurts, but the truth also sets you free.
Last night I decided to use the Spark tracker again. I don't know how long that will last because those who know me know that I dislike measuring and tracking food. I have in the past resented and resisted it even though I knew that each and every time I tracked my food I was successful. I want to stay around 1500 calories and there's only one way to guarantee this. I guess I finally want to lose this weight bad enough to make the effort to track my food. It's called desperation and sometimes that's what it takes to finally turn things around.
I also decided to use the Spark meal plans. Despite my former thought of "doing it my own way", I have come to grips with the fact that I'm still confused and don't know the best way. Because of how I've been feeling physically, I don't think I can afford to wait until I figure it out.
My fitness level has noticeably dropped since last summer, so I'm building it up slowly and steadily. For now, my goal is to do a 2 mile walk every day. I'm not going to push beyond that. What's important to me at the moment is consistency and re-building endurance.
I watched The Biggest Loser last night and thought that maybe I need to bring out my inner Jillian and dish out some tough love. Stop feeling sorry for myself and start doing something about it.
So, there it is. I know where I am, I know where I want to be, and I know what I need to do to get there. All that's left is action. That's a big word. ACTION. Without that, everything I say is meaningless.
From this day forward, my blogs will be about what I have already done and what progress I am making.
I have a lot of great motivational pics with powerful sayings and I've posted some of them on my page. The messages are great, but there is one problem. The women in most of the pictures are young and athletic - it's hard for me to actually relate to those images. This is my most motivational picture because it more represents how I really want to look:
It's an older lady with beautiful silver hair, looking happy and fit. I want to be the best version of me and this pic more sums up the look and feeling I am going for. I have it in clear view to remind me of what I want to achieve by the end of this year.
Here's to new beginnings and success throughout the year! I am going to put my all into it, that I promise.