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    DRASADAF   36,123
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NEW OFFICE POLICY

Monday, January 07, 2013

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. emoticon

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. emoticon

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. emoticon

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy. emoticon

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. emoticon

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBERT27 1/9/2013 5:55PM

    Cute!

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*MADHU* 1/9/2013 9:56AM

    emoticon

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PHATBYNOVEMBER 1/9/2013 12:07AM

    emoticon

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ATMANI 1/8/2013 11:25AM

    very funny!

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MIRFA71 1/7/2013 1:43PM

    That was very funny. Love the Bathroom Break rule. emoticon emoticon

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NESARIAN 1/7/2013 1:31PM

    So this is the company policy written prior to the legal department editing!!!!

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PATTIININDY 1/7/2013 12:31PM

    I absolutely love this! Thanks for sharing!

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BEYOURBEST1 1/7/2013 12:24PM

    Too cute! Some of it seems real, though....

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ERICADAWN1986 1/7/2013 11:18AM

    Thanks for this on a Monday Lol!

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GARDENCHRIS 1/7/2013 11:14AM

    LOL!

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DETERMINEDDE 1/7/2013 11:12AM

    We MUST work at the same place. LOL!

Thanks for sharing a smile today! emoticon

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WENWASHING67 1/7/2013 11:11AM

    Too funny!

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SPIRALDOWN 1/7/2013 11:11AM

    Um not sure about this... Hopefully it is not real

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