Sunday, January 06, 2013
I have had a shock this weekend, I got a call from my younger sister and she said that her doctor found a lump in her breast. She is faithful about getting her checkup every year. She said the doctor also is concerned that she has lost about 30 pounds in a year and hasn't really been trying and she also has gained a cup size. We don't have any cancer in our family except for my grandpa who had half a lung removed for a spot on it caused by being a heavy smoker for about 60 years.
I lost a very good friend to breast cancer a few years ago and ....I don't even want to compare the two.
I'm scared. My younger sister...she has always been the one to save me, she is a much stronger person than I am. She starts going for tests this Wednesday.
I told my sister that I would move up there if she needed me, if her tests came back saying she needed any sort of treatment, that we will be there for her, and she just asked 'Why can't you just come anyways?' I told my beau what she said and he pointed out that it might be a good thing. We have had so much trouble lately and there really isn't anything here for us. He can't work, I loathe my job, and we don't have any family here and really no friends...lots of acquaintances, but no one close to us.
After much discussion with my beau, we have decided that we will be moving up to Illinois. Finances won't allow us to just pick up and go, but we are planning on going by the end of February. At first we talked about just going if my sister had bad results from the tests, but after lots of talking...I really want to go no matter what. I have been gone from home for 11 years. That's a long time to be homesick. I miss my family and I know they miss me. I want to be with my sister, both of my sisters and my brother too, I want them to meet my beau, I want to show him where I grew up.
My son will come back up there with us and most likely move back in with his dad until he gets on his feet.
Changes are hard for me to deal with...even good changes. Right now, this is a good change and my anxiety hasn't quite kicked in yet. Other than worrying about my sister, my big worry is having a lapse in a job and health insurance. I sent my resume to my sis, she said they are looking to hire someone where she is, I figure if worse comes to worse, there is always Walmart or any one of the bazillion grocery stores there. I also have several years of call center experience as a last resort!
I finally got out to walk after being sick on and off for so long. I didn't jog at all and didn't push the distance in deference to my recovering lungs.
It went really well! My beau went out with me as he usually does and I felt that we went slow enough to be able to chit chat while we were out but my time was right about where it was before I got sick.
We did a mile and a half with a pace of 19'53. My feet hardly hurt at all, I am loving my new shoes! I got Brooks Ravenna 3's and my feet have been in heaven! I pulled on my Nike's to go to the store today and I know now that they will have to be retired from the exercise part of my life.
Relocating will also change my goal plans.
My original ultimate goal was to do a HM in Texas with my cousins that live there...it worked out because I live right next door in Louisiana. With so many changes to happen this year, I seriously doubt that a vacation to Texas will be do-able. We will have to see what happens I guess. I can do a HM anywhere, right?
Please keep my sister in your good thoughts and prayers.