So my physical part of my weight loss journey has definitely stalled quite a bit. I believe there are several things contributing to that at the moment. Some of those things include a change in birth control, my body plateauing, etc. But I also contribute it to me slacking off a bit, I need to push harder and I think I am finally ready to really pump it up and make this my number one focus again. I have been 212-216 since Halloween, and that is definitely not how I wanted this to go. I wanted to be in Onederland by now or at least right on the cusp, but all I can do is move forward.
But while the physical part of my journey has stalled, my emotional/mental journey never stops. I never stop trying to understand my emotions and what leads me to emotionally eat at times when I know it's counterproductive to my journey. I am learning a lot about myself, and I have definitely changed as a person. I have definitely changed for the better and I am much kinder to myself. I am no longer putting myself down (with the exception of an occasional "oh god, you are so bloated your pants are tight" comment here or there), and I feel SO much better. My outside has changed, sure, but the changes on my inside are the true gift.
With that said I have been doing my best to find positives in the things that seem negative, but I am also not trying to sugar coat anything and make things seem
's when they are actually
. I am finding that is a very delicate balance between trying not to beat yourself up for something, but also not sugar coating it to tell yourself that it's "no big deal". I don't want to sweep things under the rug, I want to face them head on, even if sometimes it gets difficult.
The fact that I have been within the same range since Halloween time is not okay with me. I wanted to be farther along in my journey, I am not content at 215ish pounds, and I refuse to settle for something I am not comfortable with. But on the other hand, the "old me" would have thrown in the towel at this point because I feel stuck. The old me would have gained anywhere from 10-25 pounds in the last 2ish months and would not be even attempting to try. So that is a positive.
Another positive is that I now have some pretty excellent practice for maintenance.
When I get to 180 (or possibly 170) I want a 5 pound range that is going to be my maintenance range and my weight loss journey is going to be the same as it is now, the only adjustment is getting to eat slightly more calories because I won't have to account for a deficit. So the fact that I did that for over 2 months and over the holidays at that shows me that I have definitely learned something about maintenance even if I didn't mean to. I am looking at the positives but while still pushing myself to reach my goals. I am finding it is so easy to get comfortable with where we are at when we've lost a decent amount of weight. It is a scary thought but just because I am happier and feeling better doesn't mean I am done pushing towards my goals.
So with that said, I am glad I have learned something about maintenance even if it wasn't planned, but now I want to push on to my goals so that I can get to my maintenance weight and put that knowledge to good use! Plus I have plenty of awesome Spark friends waiting for me in Onederland, I think I've kept them waiting long enough, so I promise to do my best to get there as soon as possible! Play time is over, and I need to remember to keep my eye on the
I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend and that they are starting off 2013 on the right foot! I had a bit of a stumble, but I'm feeling much more sturdy now!