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Finding Positive In The Negatives...

Sunday, January 06, 2013

So my physical part of my weight loss journey has definitely stalled quite a bit. I believe there are several things contributing to that at the moment. Some of those things include a change in birth control, my body plateauing, etc. But I also contribute it to me slacking off a bit, I need to push harder and I think I am finally ready to really pump it up and make this my number one focus again. I have been 212-216 since Halloween, and that is definitely not how I wanted this to go. I wanted to be in Onederland by now or at least right on the cusp, but all I can do is move forward.

But while the physical part of my journey has stalled, my emotional/mental journey never stops. I never stop trying to understand my emotions and what leads me to emotionally eat at times when I know it's counterproductive to my journey. I am learning a lot about myself, and I have definitely changed as a person. I have definitely changed for the better and I am much kinder to myself. I am no longer putting myself down (with the exception of an occasional "oh god, you are so bloated your pants are tight" comment here or there), and I feel SO much better. My outside has changed, sure, but the changes on my inside are the true gift.

With that said I have been doing my best to find positives in the things that seem negative, but I am also not trying to sugar coat anything and make things seem emoticon's and emoticon's when they are actually emoticon & emoticon. I am finding that is a very delicate balance between trying not to beat yourself up for something, but also not sugar coating it to tell yourself that it's "no big deal". I don't want to sweep things under the rug, I want to face them head on, even if sometimes it gets difficult.

The fact that I have been within the same range since Halloween time is not okay with me. I wanted to be farther along in my journey, I am not content at 215ish pounds, and I refuse to settle for something I am not comfortable with. But on the other hand, the "old me" would have thrown in the towel at this point because I feel stuck. The old me would have gained anywhere from 10-25 pounds in the last 2ish months and would not be even attempting to try. So that is a positive. emoticon Another positive is that I now have some pretty excellent practice for maintenance. emoticon When I get to 180 (or possibly 170) I want a 5 pound range that is going to be my maintenance range and my weight loss journey is going to be the same as it is now, the only adjustment is getting to eat slightly more calories because I won't have to account for a deficit. So the fact that I did that for over 2 months and over the holidays at that shows me that I have definitely learned something about maintenance even if I didn't mean to. I am looking at the positives but while still pushing myself to reach my goals. I am finding it is so easy to get comfortable with where we are at when we've lost a decent amount of weight. It is a scary thought but just because I am happier and feeling better doesn't mean I am done pushing towards my goals.

So with that said, I am glad I have learned something about maintenance even if it wasn't planned, but now I want to push on to my goals so that I can get to my maintenance weight and put that knowledge to good use! Plus I have plenty of awesome Spark friends waiting for me in Onederland, I think I've kept them waiting long enough, so I promise to do my best to get there as soon as possible! Play time is over, and I need to remember to keep my eye on the emoticon!

I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend and that they are starting off 2013 on the right foot! I had a bit of a stumble, but I'm feeling much more sturdy now! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great blog and I totally understand every emotion you were talking about and have been through them all ! This weight loss thing is a journey ! It truly is and there's more to the mental part sometimes than most normal weight people will EVER understand !
    I know one thing someone told me to help with plateus's is calorie cycling .....where you eat at the low end of your calorie range one day and the high end the next day also with carbs. High carbs one day and low carbs next...... I'lve found it to helpme in the past ... it s very restrictive and you do really have to plan but It does shake your body up and get it moving !!

    1836 days ago
    I know exactly how you feel! emoticon
    1839 days ago
    I really enjoyed your blog and identified with your feelings. I was doing well until December and then stalled. Actually, I regained 5 lbs over Christmas. But, hey, in the past I would normally gain 10 lbs during Nov-Dec and keep it on, so even this small gain is progress. And I did keep tracking most days. As you said, even these experiences contribute to our learning and growing healthier, which is the end goal, after all. Thanks for sharing. emoticon emoticon
    1839 days ago
    You can do this!!! I have been feeling the same way lately. I too had to stop and rethink things to get myself back into weight loss mode.

    I kept having this problem of not losing and figured maybe it was the mind set of just thinking about the 90lbs I lost in 2012. So I printed out my graph and taped it to the wall in the room my elliptical is in. That way I can always see what I did, but now can think of this last 40lbs as a new journey, not as an extension of last year. It is hard to explain what I had to put through my mind, but it worked and now I'm off and losing again.

    You will too, you will reach your goals.
    1839 days ago
    Sounds like you are doing great! you see what you have learned and it will pay off! I love the little Positive, patient and persistent thing at the end. I def need to do those three things and all will be better! I too can tell that this time is different just purely for the fact of just going up and down a few pounds during the holidays and that's it, because in the past it would be SO bad. I like how you ALWAYS add the (maybe 170 or possibly 170) after 180 lol You know you want the 170 and you will get it! emoticon
    1840 days ago
    I just adore everything you've said here. Way to be brave and face things head on. It's not the easy thing to do- that's for sure! I'm proud of you for your objective approach to this sucky plateau- I don't hear any "I'm not losing because I'm too lazy" or "I can't lose because of my new birth control". There aren't any excuses here!

    Two things:

    1. Personally, I gave my hormonal BC a 6 month trial period. If it didn't work out, I tried something else. Don't be afraid to go back to your Dr and try something different. There are options!

    2. What is your go forward plan to beat the plateau? While you may have become lax about your diet- and accidentally taking in more or less calories than you thought, you might also need a change. Sometimes getting stricter on your diet is counterproductive. So just watch and go and evaluate :)

    We're all on your side- whether in Onederland or not! I'm especially excited for your onederland announcement since we were so insyc before :) But there is no pressure, only love!

    You can go this girl!

    1840 days ago
    When I start to stall, my mom always tells me that I just need to keep at it and before you know it, the pounds will just fall off. Sometimes hard when it seems you have been stuck at the same weight for awhile. One of your best qualities is your persistence. I'm proud of you for not giving in. Sometimes it seems like giving up would just be easier.. but it definitely just makes things more frustrating for ourselves.
    emoticon emoticon
    1840 days ago
    I am sooo glad you are treating yourself better... you deserve to be! And I think it really makes a difference in our success. I am also very excited for you to reach onederland. It will be here before you know it, and then 210-215 will be a distant memory... just like 272!!

    1840 days ago
    I'm glad you're not settling for things you don't really want. You want to push yourself more and get to that place you want to be in, and you are willing to do what it takes to get there.

    It's really hard to push through the plateaus that your body gets stuck on. It seems like you've faced a couple of plateaus before and you've gotten past every single one of them. I have no doubt in my mind that you will blow right through this one. :)

    1840 days ago
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