Sunday, January 06, 2013
Tomorrow I start a brand new job and I should be very excited. But I'm scared. I miss my old job already, even though my last day was just Friday. I cried all week last week, wondering if I just made the biggest mistake of my life. I know that I didn't. I know this job is a step up on my career ladder, which is the direction I want to go. It lets me do what I love, and opens the door to all kinds of new possibilities.
So why am I not jumping up and down for joy at the future?
Well, for starters, change is hard. I'll have a new commute, a new dress code, a new desk, and new contact information. The people are different, and I don't know any of them. I have to learn how to work in this new environment, learn how these people function, what makes them tick. All of that takes work.
Then there's the fear. What if I don't like my new boss? My new job? My co-workers? What if they fire me? My last job was comfy and I was fully embedded in it. I was a go-to girl, the one everyone knew and many requested by name. Sure, they could have fired me, too, but it was unlikely. I had been there 7 years and was a major contributor. Now what? I'm the low man on the totem pole, easily expendable.
So we have change and fear...what happened to the excitement? Well, that was last month. When I read the job description and fell in love. When I had my phone interview and thought this would be great. When I went for my on-site interview and thought the company looked fantastic. When they offered me more than I thought I was worth and I could barely contain myself when accepting.
Well, those were short-lived and easily overtaken by the sadness I feel at leaving my friends, my colleagues, my office, and my reputation behind.
But this job starts tomorrow, and I need to reinvigorate my excitement! Much like this journey to health, the sparkle and shine wears off quickly and you must find ways to make the daily activities ones to look forward to.
So I'm coming up with ways to combine the two things and remind myself that there's so much to look forward to tomorrow. Here goes:
-I get to meet new people and maybe make some new friends!
-I get away from the bad habits I formed at my old job, like three trips to the free soda bar per day (diet soda, but still!), near-daily trips to the gourmet popcorn stand, and the bi-weekly episodes of Chinese and other indulgent treats hand-delivered to my desk. My new colleagues need not know my past vices. Now is a great opportunity to quit drinking soda (which has been on my list for years), and build new habits, like bringing my snacks from home.
-I get to do what I love. Perhaps now trips to the gym can be about building strength instead of burning off stress.
-I have a shorter commute. What can I do with an extra 10-15 minutes per day? Pack a lunch? Climb some stairs? That IS exciting!
-I can be the new me without anyone asking what happened to the old me! I've changed a lot in the last 2-3 years but old habits are hard to break.
So here we go. Next chapter!