Sunday, January 06, 2013
It is very apparent to me that I still have very, very far to go. Yesterday was a real stark eye-opener! I over-filled my plate the first time I went through the vast assortment of entries, appetizers, and side dishes presented at my friend's Birthday Bash Potluck. Then I totally lied to myself..., "this one day of over-eating won't matter because I have been so good all week long". I went through the line-up a second time. Also, at this time, OVER-FILLING my plate too excess. And then....And then....I went back for, of course, the low-fat, low-calorie KeyLime Pie.
I came home with an extended stomach, a mass of unnatural gas releasing (poor hubby stayed far away, even our pets did), and a sick, sick body. Did I go for a walk? NOPE. Did I do any exercise at all? NOPE. I laid down and took a nap. UGH! When I am bad, I am very, very Ugly BAD.
It is these over-eating binges that are my greatest un-doing. I do want to stop doing this. Why do I repeat, repeat, and repeat myself, knowing the result is worsening health problems?
Today, I am in a punishment mode. Doing dishes, cleaning, cleaning, than cleaning some more. I have stopped myself by sitting down at the computer to write this blog. My breakfast was 2 glasses of water (my daily morning ritual) and a bowl of apricots. I took my blood pressure and anxiety meds. I am still sleathing with anger at myself.
I do wish I would not over-react but it is part of my malicious abuse of myself. I am determined to get my weight under control so that I may have my health back. I am very good at telling friends what they should do and now I hear myself giving them encouraging words but still can't find any for myself. This battle will be won. I simply need to stop all the bul__hit and just DO IT RIGHT from this time FORWARD.